About Dreaming...
My childhood life was not always a bed or roses and so I took up escapism at a very early age. My favorite things to do was read and daydream.
I'd dream that I was a princess or that this man and woman who I called mommy and daddy had actually kidnapped me from MY REAL PARENTS - who did not hit and yell at their children..or each other.
Later, I daydreamed about becoming a writer and traveling the world.
As a grown woman with an child, I looked forward to bedtime. I would turn of the lights and the television, climb into bed, close my eyes and script a movie, starring me, in my head.
In that movie, I was a bestselling author, the owner of a beautiful old home and fabulous, fast car! My books were selling in the millions and all had been adapted to the silver screen. In my movie starring me, I met all of my writerly influences and in my movie starring me - all of my dreams had come true!
I believe I can safely say that I played that movie nightly from 1990 right up to 1999 when I secured my first book contract.
The house followed and so did the fast car..I'd been traveling extensively all through the 90's. I've met all except one of my influences and while I haven't sold millions of books, I've sold thousands....my books have not yet been adapted to the silver screen...but I suspect I will see that happen in my lifetime.
But something strange occurred after I bought my house and my car and secured a second book deal. I became a bit complacent where dreaming was concerned. Maybe my Catholic school background had something to do with it.
You see I'd achieved the dreams and goals I had set for myself and Catholicism teaches us not to be greedy - not to ask for more than what you need, to be satisfied with what you have.
I think I felt guilty about desiring more, so I stopped dreaming - well at least I stopped scripting my dreams.
My scripted dreams were replaced with worries.
I worried about securing another book contract. I worried about losing my home and my car. I worried about not having a enough money to pay my bills or buy food. I worried about getting sick. I worried about dying.
Worry works exactly the way hopes and dreams work - they are all intentions.
Intentions are like seeds that we plant in the soil of the universe. Sooner or later those seeds germinate and then in no time at all, you have a seedling.
And before I knew it, not unlike my dreams, most of my worries had come to fruition.
So I'm back to square one. And square one ain't so bad. I'm learning how to dream again. I'm scripting some great ones, so stay tuned...............#LifeAfter
I'd dream that I was a princess or that this man and woman who I called mommy and daddy had actually kidnapped me from MY REAL PARENTS - who did not hit and yell at their children..or each other.
Later, I daydreamed about becoming a writer and traveling the world.
As a grown woman with an child, I looked forward to bedtime. I would turn of the lights and the television, climb into bed, close my eyes and script a movie, starring me, in my head.
In that movie, I was a bestselling author, the owner of a beautiful old home and fabulous, fast car! My books were selling in the millions and all had been adapted to the silver screen. In my movie starring me, I met all of my writerly influences and in my movie starring me - all of my dreams had come true!
I believe I can safely say that I played that movie nightly from 1990 right up to 1999 when I secured my first book contract.
The house followed and so did the fast car..I'd been traveling extensively all through the 90's. I've met all except one of my influences and while I haven't sold millions of books, I've sold thousands....my books have not yet been adapted to the silver screen...but I suspect I will see that happen in my lifetime.
But something strange occurred after I bought my house and my car and secured a second book deal. I became a bit complacent where dreaming was concerned. Maybe my Catholic school background had something to do with it.
You see I'd achieved the dreams and goals I had set for myself and Catholicism teaches us not to be greedy - not to ask for more than what you need, to be satisfied with what you have.
I think I felt guilty about desiring more, so I stopped dreaming - well at least I stopped scripting my dreams.
My scripted dreams were replaced with worries.
I worried about securing another book contract. I worried about losing my home and my car. I worried about not having a enough money to pay my bills or buy food. I worried about getting sick. I worried about dying.
Worry works exactly the way hopes and dreams work - they are all intentions.
Intentions are like seeds that we plant in the soil of the universe. Sooner or later those seeds germinate and then in no time at all, you have a seedling.
And before I knew it, not unlike my dreams, most of my worries had come to fruition.
So I'm back to square one. And square one ain't so bad. I'm learning how to dream again. I'm scripting some great ones, so stay tuned...............#LifeAfter
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message 1:
by
Cassie
(new)
Aug 13, 2013 05:58PM
Reading this gave me an ah ha moment...i never really had dreams as a child. My upbringing taught me i better be happy with what I have and I better not have or expect more. Now I'm 42 struggling to get the life I want while not really feeling worthy.
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