Like a tetherball
So I have this dog, which is pretty awesome except that I'm mildly allergic to dogs.
Mildly. They don't effect me all the time. I really only get into sneezing fits if there are a lot of them around or it's
early in the morning.
For some reason.
Anyway, the dog in question, Shadow, is a great dog. Half lab. Half beagle. We call him a beagradore. The only problem with him is that he is insanely obsessive with my brother. If Mike comes around, Shadow is at his side, whining to be pet, begging for attention. He cries. He barks. He carves Mike's name in all the furniture. If Mike leaves, Shadow goes insane, crying and screaming all over the house for an hour or two.
If Mike comes around, the neighbor's are likely to think we're all taking turns putting out cigarettes on the dog's fur. He cries that much and that loud. And it's only because he can smell Mike.
God forbid Mike is over but not in the same room as Shadow. The dog can't calm himself.
So Mike was over helping my other brother Dan, move out. We're carrying out the furniture and Shadow is locked up in the kitchen, screaming his head off. How dare Mike be in the house and not holding his puppy. The brute!
And then Mike left with Dan. I stayed to get ready for work. Which I'm going to be late for because I'm posting this blog.
No, I don't care. I said I'd come in several hours early because a coworker called off. I can be five minutes later than the time I quoted to type this. It's that important. You all need to read this.
Anyway. Mike and Dan left and Shadow is whining at me, clearly begging the question of, "Why?! Why did hath he forsaken me?" So I sat down at my desk to finish my coffee before getting ready for work. Shadow, crying at my side. And I'm trying to calm him. I pet him. I give him a hug. I tell him he's a good dog. But as I'm trying to calm the dog, my allergies are kicking in. My eyes are puffing. I start sneezing.
The first five or six sneezes, I cover my mouth. I deal with it. I keep telling the dog he's good while checking my email and stuff.
Let me set the scene a bit. The dog is on my left. On my desk I have my PlayStation 3 on my left, my monitor and keyboard in the middle, and the mouse on my right. The desktop computer is in a compartment below the mousepad. Right now I have my USB Kindle charging cable plugged into the desktop, charging my 3D glasses (for some very important Assassin's Creed 3 and/or Batman: Arkham City 3D action). The glasses are sitting on my mousepad, so the cable runs verticle from the desktop to my glasses. Also, I'm a bit of a slob lately. There are a few coffee mugs and a Coke can on my desk.
So I'm trying to calm the dog, drink my coffee, and check my email before getting ready for work. I'm petting Shadow, telling him he's good, and after the ninth or tenth sneeze, it's just getting old. But then I feel the eleventh one coming on, and it's coming hard and fast.
Ha!
You know the sneezes where you just don't have time to cover your mouth? This was the king of them. So with one hand scratching the dog behind the ear and the other holding my coffee, I immediately have to pick a direction. To my left, good dog and expensive Batman/Assassin's Creed machine. In front of me, monitor and keyboard. I turn my head to the right, toward nothing in particular. Pretty much away from my desk. And I sneeze thunder. It's quick. It's loud. It's awful.
When I open my eyes, I see it. Not only had a glob of spit flown out of my mouth, but the side of it hit the USB cable. And it didn't just spatter or stick either. My spit was rapidly coiling down the cable, stretching and spinning like a tetherball. It went around eight times over the distance of about four inches, making this little corkscrew down the shaft of the cable.
It was awesome
Mildly. They don't effect me all the time. I really only get into sneezing fits if there are a lot of them around or it's
early in the morning.
For some reason.
Anyway, the dog in question, Shadow, is a great dog. Half lab. Half beagle. We call him a beagradore. The only problem with him is that he is insanely obsessive with my brother. If Mike comes around, Shadow is at his side, whining to be pet, begging for attention. He cries. He barks. He carves Mike's name in all the furniture. If Mike leaves, Shadow goes insane, crying and screaming all over the house for an hour or two.
If Mike comes around, the neighbor's are likely to think we're all taking turns putting out cigarettes on the dog's fur. He cries that much and that loud. And it's only because he can smell Mike.
God forbid Mike is over but not in the same room as Shadow. The dog can't calm himself.
So Mike was over helping my other brother Dan, move out. We're carrying out the furniture and Shadow is locked up in the kitchen, screaming his head off. How dare Mike be in the house and not holding his puppy. The brute!
And then Mike left with Dan. I stayed to get ready for work. Which I'm going to be late for because I'm posting this blog.
No, I don't care. I said I'd come in several hours early because a coworker called off. I can be five minutes later than the time I quoted to type this. It's that important. You all need to read this.
Anyway. Mike and Dan left and Shadow is whining at me, clearly begging the question of, "Why?! Why did hath he forsaken me?" So I sat down at my desk to finish my coffee before getting ready for work. Shadow, crying at my side. And I'm trying to calm him. I pet him. I give him a hug. I tell him he's a good dog. But as I'm trying to calm the dog, my allergies are kicking in. My eyes are puffing. I start sneezing.
The first five or six sneezes, I cover my mouth. I deal with it. I keep telling the dog he's good while checking my email and stuff.
Let me set the scene a bit. The dog is on my left. On my desk I have my PlayStation 3 on my left, my monitor and keyboard in the middle, and the mouse on my right. The desktop computer is in a compartment below the mousepad. Right now I have my USB Kindle charging cable plugged into the desktop, charging my 3D glasses (for some very important Assassin's Creed 3 and/or Batman: Arkham City 3D action). The glasses are sitting on my mousepad, so the cable runs verticle from the desktop to my glasses. Also, I'm a bit of a slob lately. There are a few coffee mugs and a Coke can on my desk.
So I'm trying to calm the dog, drink my coffee, and check my email before getting ready for work. I'm petting Shadow, telling him he's good, and after the ninth or tenth sneeze, it's just getting old. But then I feel the eleventh one coming on, and it's coming hard and fast.
Ha!
You know the sneezes where you just don't have time to cover your mouth? This was the king of them. So with one hand scratching the dog behind the ear and the other holding my coffee, I immediately have to pick a direction. To my left, good dog and expensive Batman/Assassin's Creed machine. In front of me, monitor and keyboard. I turn my head to the right, toward nothing in particular. Pretty much away from my desk. And I sneeze thunder. It's quick. It's loud. It's awful.
When I open my eyes, I see it. Not only had a glob of spit flown out of my mouth, but the side of it hit the USB cable. And it didn't just spatter or stick either. My spit was rapidly coiling down the cable, stretching and spinning like a tetherball. It went around eight times over the distance of about four inches, making this little corkscrew down the shaft of the cable.
It was awesome
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