Narcissistic Ploys & Tactics (It’s All Smoke & Mirrors)

 Everything a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath says or does is a magic trick…a narcissistic ploy to distract you from the the reality and the truth of what he’s really up to..

There isn’t a moment in the day that a LIE isn’t coming out of the narcissist’s mouth. Many of us have heard the joke, “How can you tell a narcissist is lying?” BECAUSE HIS MOUTH IS OPEN! ….makes sense, doesn’t it?. It’s all smoke and mirrors, a sleight of hand, a devious magic trick used by the narcissist to distract you from what’s really going on and to manage down our expectations of the relationship. You may have heard this referred to as gaslighting – a narcissistic ploy that makes the victim feel like she’s losing her mind, that everything is in her imagination, that she’s wrong, wrong, wrong….

When a narcissist partner is being nice, it’s typically because he’s got a devastating discard planned for you in the very near future. When a narcissistic partner accuses you of something, it’s because that is exactly what he’s up to at that moment in his life. When he suddenly feigns sickness out-of-the-blue or in the middle of a heated conversation, it’s probably because you just said something or alluded to something that he’s guilty of (remember that the next time he feigns a sudden migraine…what was the last thing you said??).

When you’re involved with a someone with a narcissist personality, nothing – and I mean nothing – is as it seems and everything is intended to be a distraction from the real thing. When you get that nagging feeling that something is very wrong behind the scenes, don’t doubt yourself or let him make you think you’re delusional. When he starts creating narcissistic chaos and turmoil, look beneath the actions to see the actual truth that he’s hiding. You have to remember that 98% of the time, you’re first instincts will always be right.

Once you realize the smoke and mirrors antics for exactly what they are, you are well on your way to knowing exactly what the monster is up to during any given moment. Turn his narcissistic ploys into your advantage. Like children, narcissists will always give themselves away…they will “tell on” themselves by accusing you of what they’re really doing behind your back. The more you know what he’s up to, the more likely you’ll be able to give up the need for closure and go no contact without falling apart from the get-go

You must learn to read between the narcissistic lines.

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