Name Tags: Making a Change

I grew up a Linda but never felt like one. It’s not that I have anything against the name; after all, Wikipedia offers several flattering meanings, including: “soft, tender” (German) and “beautiful, pretty, cute” or “cleaned” (Italian, Spanish, Portuguese)–okay I’m not sure about “cleaned.” And I wasn’t given the slightly suspicious Lynda, which in elementary school would have embarrassed me because I hated standing out. So Linda served me well. However, I always perceived it as a borrowed name, akin to a stray dog who’s called Sadie but is ready to answer to her “real” name.

I never thought about what my real name might be.  It was only when I was working on a novel, The Shadow of My Sister, that I heard Lena (pronounced Lee-nah) and came running.  The novel is based on my mother’s experience emigrating from Germany to America in the 1920s. Lena was my grandmother’s name. I wasn’t aware of any meanings attributed to the name until after I adopted it, which is just as well. Not only does Lena have several pronunciations (the better to confuse people), but Wikipedia indicates that the name evolved as a variation of several earlier names, with its basic meaning being ”sunlight/palm tree.” Huh. One of the sites listing names for babies indicates that Lena means “bright one,” but that might be a stretch.

It’s an odd experience to switch your name as an adult. Some people react as if you’ve done something socially inappropriate, like laughing loudly in church; others understand completely and share that they never felt their name fit either. I still answer to both names (Linda is the legal one), but I love the sound of Lena. It’s as if I wrap myself around the name when I hear it.

I didn’t immediately make the transition to Lena. It was when I decided to publish Promise of Wings as an eBook that the time seemed right. Books are apparently bookmarks in my life.

I’m interested in how people feel about their names.  Does yours fit you? What makes a name seem right? The fact that you grew up with it (definitely important)? The sound, the look of it on paper, some meaning attributed to it? I’d like to know.