Things I Learned From Japanese Television

Rain makes you sneeze.

Any injury can be healed with a white sticking-plaster on the cheek.

Sex always leads to pregnancy.

Nothing good will come of foreign travel.

Women in white are psychos (unless they are getting married).

Old women are either mad or Kaoru Yachigusa

Every Japanese home has a spare green-ink divorce application form.

It's impossible to find a deserted roof-top from which to throw oneself.

If you have a college reunion, someone is going to have an affair.

If you have a college...