helping out the cops...
Reading the papers recently, I can’t help noticing all the bad press the police are garnering in both Canada and the States. Between complaints about cops killing innocent (and perhaps some not-so-innocent) people without much provocation, their perjury
in the courts, sexually assaulting females drivers under the guise of drug searches, general police brutality and the number of cellphone videos of said offences, it seems like the press are really out to get these poor guys.
And when the police boards investigate and find, contrary to seemingly undeniable evidence, that the cops did not behave
badly, well those damned media goons just pound on our beleaguered men and women in blue yet again.
This can’t be good for their image or their self-esteem.
It seems to me what the police force needs is someone to write positive stories about them to counteract the flow of
negativity. And as a writer of smut (home of the happy endings) whom, may I ask, is more qualified?
If the police boards would care to hire me—and god knows I need the extra income—I could write about the police in a more favorable light.
Now I’m sure much of that so-called police brutality was just a case of boys being boys. Most young lads will fight if given half a chance and, apparently, if you also give them an overinflated sense of power, they may do so even more. All these cops need is a little lovin’ to help them blow off steam. I could even write some glowing profiles for a new “Plenty of Fist-fFghters” dating website.
And as I understand it, those Texas Troopers weren’t actually groping innocent female drivers with malicious or perverted intent. No. They were searching for WMDs to save the world from the
new threat of female road terrorists. And although they may not have found any weapons, they were willing to risk their lives, just in case a new form of deadly hoo-ha bomb had been invented.
And as for the perjury? Perhaps our Mounties should consider new careers as fiction writers. It doesn’t pay as much, but at least the evil media will ignore you…
in the courts, sexually assaulting females drivers under the guise of drug searches, general police brutality and the number of cellphone videos of said offences, it seems like the press are really out to get these poor guys.
And when the police boards investigate and find, contrary to seemingly undeniable evidence, that the cops did not behave
badly, well those damned media goons just pound on our beleaguered men and women in blue yet again.
This can’t be good for their image or their self-esteem.
It seems to me what the police force needs is someone to write positive stories about them to counteract the flow of
negativity. And as a writer of smut (home of the happy endings) whom, may I ask, is more qualified?
If the police boards would care to hire me—and god knows I need the extra income—I could write about the police in a more favorable light.
Now I’m sure much of that so-called police brutality was just a case of boys being boys. Most young lads will fight if given half a chance and, apparently, if you also give them an overinflated sense of power, they may do so even more. All these cops need is a little lovin’ to help them blow off steam. I could even write some glowing profiles for a new “Plenty of Fist-fFghters” dating website.
And as I understand it, those Texas Troopers weren’t actually groping innocent female drivers with malicious or perverted intent. No. They were searching for WMDs to save the world from the
new threat of female road terrorists. And although they may not have found any weapons, they were willing to risk their lives, just in case a new form of deadly hoo-ha bomb had been invented.
And as for the perjury? Perhaps our Mounties should consider new careers as fiction writers. It doesn’t pay as much, but at least the evil media will ignore you…
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