The Agent Greeting Contest is Open!

Dear Manly face Agent:

My teeny-tiny contest is now open! Jump right in and leave your best dear agent greeting. 
One entry per customer, but no limit to the creativity. Feel free to tie your greeting in with your novel. Please try not to duplicate other entries.
Keep it clean. Obscene comments will be deleted. (More contest details here.)
Technically your manuscript does not need to be finished or polished, but it might be a good idea. 
Dear Scooter Pie Agent:
In return, please be a follower of this blog. If you feel like shouting about your greeting, which I'd appreciate, use the hashtag #agentgreeting. Querying can be a depressing business. I want this to be fun and twitter makes everything fun.
If you want to comment on another person's greeting, please do it on twitter so as not to mess up the random number generator.
Dear Make-me-Famous Agent:
The contest will stay open until 5:00 pm EST on August 7th. Then I will randomly draw the five winners and randomly match them up with their agent. (See agent list here.) Winner will need to get in touch with me about contacting their agents. 
A runner-up winner will also be drawn and will receive a copy of either Summer's Double Edge, featuring my short story Frost and Fog, or my epic fantasy, Kindar's Cure. Runner-up winner must live in the United States or Canada and provide an address. 
Dear Alien-abducted agent:

I will post the winners on August 8th.
That's all there is to it. Be as creative as you can and have fun!