The Music of Both Sides Now, the sequel

Picture      Last week, I wrote about the songs Dawn chose for her chapter titles for the first half of Both Sides Now. Today, as my old radio idol Paul Harvey used to say, stay tuned for the rest of the story. (Does anyone else really miss the calming voice of Paul Harvey on the radio?)


Chapter Thirteen - Living Inside Myself - Gino Vanelli   First, if you'll click on the link, you'll see that I had a lot in common with Gino hair-wise, and I don't say that with any particular pride. We picked this song for this section because it reflected what would become a theme for Dawn for many years. She felt like she couldn't show her true feelings much of the time, so she kept them inside.


Chapter Fourteen - Hold the Line - Toto   Another of the songs that just screams out "1978" when that opening piano/guitar riff hits. This portion of the book reflected such confusion on both our parts. We both knew that we just wanted to be together in a normal way, but we couldn't find a way. We both would have been deliriously happy with phone calls and me driving down from the UW to see her every month or so, but that was not destined to be.


Chapter Fifteen - Tonight's the Night - Rod Stewart     We really waffled on this one. If you Google "Songs about your first time" or some such, this is at the top of every list. We tried to be less obvious than that, but it ultimately proved inescapable. It is a song we both love, and it definitely captures the je ne sais pas of the moment. Because this is a true story, we made the decision to make this a "lights out" romance book. We didn't want to scar our kids forever!


Chapter Sixteen - I'm so Afraid - Fleetwood Mac    I probably had more influence on Dawn picking this song than any other chapter, although we both love Fleetwood Mac. I'm sure you can understand that this and the next few chapters were the hardest things I've ever written. From Dawn's perspective, I "got what I wanted" and left her alone to deal with things alone. Knowing that was not the case doesn't make it any easier to think of her as 15 and alone... and so afraid.


Chapter Seventeen - Love Hurts - Nazareth     As a small boy, I grew up listening to a very different version of this song done by The Everly Brothers. This cover version by Nazareth is the one that was the soundtrack to the most painful times for us. There are times when I look back at all the pain of these days and feel like it's a miracle that we ever trusted anyone again. If I had known what Dawn thought of me all those years, I never would have had the confidence to blithely approach her again, hoping she still loved me. 


Chapter Eighteen - Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd     The shortest chapter in the whole book because I honestly couldn't stand to make it any longer. When I wrote this book I tried to put myself completely into Dawn so that I saw the world the way she did. At first I thought she picked this song because she wished I had been there, but in the end, I know that's not it. 


Chapter Nineteen - Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd     Back to back chapter titles from Pink Floyd, but neither could be changed. I never really got to talk to Dawn during the time I write about in this chapter, but I saw her occasionally. I remember walking across the Mossyrock school grounds and seeing her walking with Lon. I knew it was her, of course, but I didn't recognize her in any important way. She felt like a different person at the time. It was the fact that she was numb inside.


Chapter Twenty - Again - Lenny Kravitz     When the story moved ahead to the 21st century, the music did too. This is the chapter where I went to see Dawn again, and blew it... again. So, it was a perfectly apt chapter title. Mostly, though, Dawn picked this one because of the lyrics: All of my Life/Where have you  been/I wonder if I'll ever see you again/and if that day comes/I know we could win/I wonder if I'll ever see you again.

Chapter Twenty One - Hold on Tight - Electric Light Orchestra     First, I think that Jeff Lynne is under-appreciated, and beyond some form of musical snobbery, I don't know why. In any case, this Lynn-penned song was the perfect representation of what Dawn was doing when she found out that her youngest daughter was living through the same situation Dawn and I had when we were the same age.


Chapter Twenty Two - After the Love has Gone - Earth Wind & Fire     Honestly, I don't think Dawn's love for me ever went away. I just can't conceive of that. I know my love for her never did. However, I do believe that whatever feelings she had for me were buried under many layers of pain and numbness... until this chapter, when I started to make a comeback.


Chapter Twenty Three - Because the Night - Patti Smith     Patti wrote this song with Bruce Springsteen, of course and I love how it manages to sound like both of them even though Bruce is nowhere near the recording studio. Every reader brings their own perspective to the book, of course, but to me the two pivotal chapters are this one and the next one. I wrote both these chapters in one long marathon session because I couldn't wait to get this part of the story told.


Chapter Twenty Four - Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (From the Movie Once) 
I suppose this chapter title is a little bit of a joke between Dawn and I. When we first discovered the untruths that had shaped so much of our lives, we both knew, deep inside, that we would never be apart again. Still, the practical parts of ourselves knew it was crazy to jump into things too quickly. Or, at least Dawn knew that. I didn't really care. Dawn was constantly reminding me to take things slowly - until she told me that she still loved me, too. After three days. Falling slowly? No... Forever? Yes...


Chapter Twenty Five - Beautiful Boy - John Lennon     The day Dani gave birth to Yael, I got to see a miracle. Yes, the miracle of birth, but also the miracle of perfect love. When Yael was just a few minutes old, I saw Dawn's heart open up, pull him inside and hold him tight. Today, he is nearly four years old and a handsome boy indeed. I know to Dawn he will always be the beautiful boy.


Chapter Twenty Six - Grow Old With You - Adam Sandler     I admit I blew this one in the book. I called it Grow Old with Me. Mea culpa. If that's the only mistake I made that day, it was a good day. I can't believe the odds were good that I would include an Adam Sandler song in our chapter list, but here it is. It was on a lark that day that I included this song on the CD we were listening to... until it wasn't. I love the idea of us growing old together - although Dawn will tell you that I will always be older than her. 


Chapter Twenty Seven - At Last - Etta James    Yes, we used the same title for the wedding chapter in the first book. We always knew it could never be anything else.


Chapter Twenty Eight - Just the Two of Us - Grover Washington (Bill Withers vocal)    For almost all of our life it felt like it would never be this... just the two of us. I suppose everyone's honeymoon is one of the best times of their life - or at least it should be - but we knew we were living in the magic as it was happening. We kept looking at each other and couldn't stop our smiles. The odds were incredibly high against that moment ever arriving and we savored it completely.


Chapter Twenty Nine - How Much I Feel - Ambrosia    Can we all agree that they don't write pop love songs like this any more? Back in the 70s, I just thought this was another good song. Listening to it now, I feel nostalgic for an entire generation of music. We chose this title because, at last, taking it slow or not, we were free just to be who we were, and to do it together. 


Afterword - Love Will Find a Way - Pablo Cruise    I can't help but think of Jurassic Park, where the mantra is "Life will find a way." Our story reflects the same thing about love, I think. In the end, love will find a way.


For now, I can finally feel like the story is complete. I've told both sides. And yet... I still have one last idea I want to explore about this simple little love story. I've got other projects to write first, so if the conclusion of the story, which I think of as Magnet and Steel, is to come to pass, it will be in 2014.


Up next will be Rock n Roll Heaven. I am having such a wonderful time writing this one, and I hope that joy will show up on the page. As I'm sure you can tell, music is very important to me and it infuses my writing. RnR Heaven will also feature song titles for chapters, so I've got at least one more of these blogs to write this year!
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Published on August 04, 2013 15:18
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