Update My Blog, Lackey (or) What I Would Do with an Intern

It is summer.

I am never home.

I have, however, been working on my novel.

I even picked out a title:

WAKING THE MERROW

It will be available...when I finish it. Sorry, I am a one woman show. Right now, I am wearing the editor's hat. If you've spent time with me, you've seen me toting around my printed manuscript. It has more stains on it than the creamer counter at Starbucks. In fact, I think it might have spent a few, quick seconds hanging out on said counter. It has red pen all over it. There are post-it notes, paperclips, giant slashes, and big notes like: GO LOOK IN YOUR PURPLE NOTEBOOK FOR THIS NEW CHAPTER everywhere.

It's Franken-Manu. Poor thing.



I can, however, tell you four things I have learned while wearing the editor's hat:

1. I use the word "that" too much. That word is everywhere. It's kind of useless, like daylight savings. Watch for it and see. You'll notice it's like garnish. You can take it off the sentence plate and your word food will still be lovely.

Here's an example:
All I saw was the faint image of trees and darkness., but I heard that laughter, shrill laughter…

Here's me at my worst:
It was weird that I thought to think of him at all., that I had dreamt of him and that he had urged urging me to wake up.

2. I have sharpened my continuity vision. As I read for pleasure, I'm catching all sorts of boo-boos (and excessive use of the word, "that.") I also notice it on television, in movies, and in my own work. I have changed the last name of one of my main characters several times. I have had a crowd of men talking and have forgotten who spoke last.
I have had characters live in a six hour day (no, the scene was not in, or near one of the global poles.) These boo-boos are no longer. Thank you, editor's hat.
3. I know why some authors make one, really wonderful book and then suck after their debut. You work hard, real hard, on your first big deal, then, with a little luck, you get an editor to help you on your next one. But perhaps you rely on the editor to make your next piece better? Perhaps your edge is gone, like all the coffee and olive bread you ate while editing your first baby? Perhaps you are too burned out from the long process of the first one, you just don't have it in you to top yourself?Maybe. Maybe not. It's just a caffeine, blurry-eyed speculation.
4. I need an intern. Someone who will buy the groceries, cook dinner, vacuum, weed, mow the lawn, do the laundry, clean up the house, and make me coffee (then clean the damn French press--this alone, is worth an intern's weight in gold.) I need someone to do all the things Heather does while wearing the housewife hat. With an intern, all I would need to do is play with Livi, paint, and edit  write.

Fantastic writer/mom/artist/ seeks intern for all menial jobs. Pay is non-existent, but the glory of being around our home would result in fame and fortune in the future (possibly. No guarantees.) Hours are long, but rewarding. Must be interesting and self-less, eccentric and efficient, good-natured and hardworking. Please send all inquiries to this slightly frazzled mermaid.
xoxoxo