Decision making strategy involves head and heart

In my work as an author who helps people become authors, I do just as much life coaching as book coaching. Yes, I help with the nitty gritty of chapters, content, structure, grammar, and anything in the writing arena. Just as important, I help people get over their blocks, writer’s or otherwise.

We all have blocks in our lives. We stop ourselves all the time. People hold themselves back from writing their book because they are hesitant to put themselves out there in that new bold way. Even if you have no desire to write a book, you may be fearful to really express yourself unabashedly.

In my joy work, I teach that we can be ourselves, and learn to trust ourselves. That’s where the blocks come in -we waver in our trust. That’s why we hold back and go along with the status quo. It’s easier to lay low in the herd than to stand out. We fear failure and we fear success.

We don’t take that new job or go out on that date or sign up for that art class. We stay in our so-called comfort zone. It gets to a point where it’s not so comfortable. That’s when it’s good to get encouragement from someone who has stepped out of the zone and found it quite pleasant.

I teach hand on heart decision making. Our inside knows what is best for us. There are studies and research that show the heart is our ruler. I simply have found it to be true from my own experience. It’s when we let our heads do all the talking that we stay blocked.

We need the combination of head and heart. When they align, our internal guidance is telling us the next move to make is the right one, even if it is a little scary.

When you feel the internal tug, don’t ignore it. Get quiet and breathe. Sit with yourself for a few minutes. Talk to yourself: “Self, let’s check in and determine if this decision is right for right now.”

Go beyond hand on heart. Let the head in on it too. Put left hand on heart and right hand on forehead. Ask yourself the question that is nagging at you. “Is it a good idea to go on another date with this guy?” “Is is the right thing right now to invest in this coach for my business?” “What about packing up and moving to the hills…”

Does your head concur with your heart?

I recently heard coach Andrea Lea put it this way. When making a decision, ask your head to give the green light, red light, or yellow light. Ask your heart to give you the green light, red light or yellow light. When the two align, your body/hands know what to do and then you can take action.

Even if you are nervous to take that action, when you feel alignment, it’s easier to move forward.

That’s often when we need encouragement or support to stay grounded in that trust in our self.

The more you do this alignment decision making, the more you gain confidence in it. I had to trust myself to make many big decisions these past several years. Even when I knew it was right, there were moments of floundering when my head started to think it knew better than my heart. What I have learned: When they agree, proceed.

Whatever your blocks are, use this simple strategy and watch your life take off where you really want to go. You really can live joy beyond your dreams.

(Kelly Epperson is author/speaker/coach and founder of Joy Beyond Your Dreams, Inc, and the Birth That Book programs. For more information, write info@kellyepperson.com or call toll free 888-637-3563.)