Amandababble Week Five
Did I mention I was on a get-fit-lose-weight-feel-better regime? Well I am. This is my third week and I’m doing great. I already feel less wobbly and more energized so all heading in the right direction. Trouble is I’m bloody starving! I realised that most of my eating was a habit. Every time I popped into the kitchen, I’d eat something. I don’t have a bath every time I pass the bathroom, so why? Anyone that has seen me knows I’m a girl that has known the love of a good pasty or two, but I don’t want to get to 50 and be unfit and I don’t really know why, but I feel the time to shift my blubber, is NOW! So I have ditched dough and fat and I shall keep you posted. 
The boys continue to loaf around the house, (see I can’t help writing a bread-related word, deprivation manifests itself in funny ways!) and have been driving me bonkers since their exams finished. I suggested they might like to mow the lawn or paint the fence – that was four days ago. They are still laughing.
I’ve been a bit of a media tart this week. Three new Huffington Post articles, LBC radio – Nick Ferrari’s breakfast show on Wednesday. Daily Mail and various other bits and bobs.
It’s impossible to ignore the pictures and commentary splashed all over the front pages of every news paper at the beginning of the week, Nigella Lawson, in an alleged situation that made my heart lurch. Domestic violence knows no boundary its not specific to gender, race, postcode or sexuality and it takes many forms. It doesn’t have to be a punch or a kick, as many of the people I spoke to while researching What Have I Done? confirmed, fear comes in many shapes and sizes. A word or a controlling action can be just as damaging.
Gawd, this is all sounding a bit depressing, so on a lighter note – the boys went out to a sedate BBQ on Thursday night that started at 6pm – of course they didn’t take keys, ‘cos we’ll only be a couple of hours.’ At 1am, barely able to keep my eyes open, I crawled to the front door as they the knocked gingerly, one of those knocks that says, I am trying to wake you up without waking you.
My first surprise was that 2 boys had turned into 4! They had mates O and C in tow. Son 1 stepped forward and threw his arms around me, ‘you make lovely sandwiches!’ it was a compliment of sorts. Son 2 then wobbled forward and said ‘I love you mum!’ Now, this was incredible for three reasons, one, he doesn’t talk to me, two, he hasn’t told me he loves me for eons and three, he did both in the presence of his friends! As if this wasn’t clue enough, they all bore that glassy-eyed, pale-skinned, hue of those who have thrown up on the way home.
They tripped into the house, looking and smelling like Berlusconi’s entourage. I hastily made up spare beds on their floors and came down to find boy C walking around in his pants with a balloon tied to his head. Boy O had found a bag of popcorn and was conversing with it and my two had fallen asleep on the kitchen floor.
I left them to it. I was up bright and early the next day, walked into the loo and for a split second I was back in a Portaloo, Glastonbury, 1993. Boy C had apparently been poorly because he ate some bad chicken, well, we’ve all done that haven’t we?
I did what any self-respecting mother would do. I made bowls of porridge and put a frankfurter in each and delivered them to each boy at 6.30am. I threw open the curtains and I put my Mamma Mia DVD on VERY loudly and I began to sing as I vacuumed!
My boys wailed, shouted, placed their heads under pillows and shouted some more! And I shouted back, ‘next time don’t get sloshed and take a bl**dy key!’ the little darlings…
http://t.co/VopuOOK5Ct – The Mummy Factor.
http://t.co/iIxTsVX5N4 – Computer says NO!
©Amanda Prowse – all enquiries PFD ajhughes@pfd.co.uk. +44 (0)20 7344 1084
