In lieu of flowers, how about some gum or a pedicure?

Cleaning out my file cabinet recently, I came across instructions I’d written for my funeral. I had/have no morbid fears of dying; it was my silly notes about what I wanted in the event of my  death.

I had just divorced and not yet met my Prince Charming. Being one who likes to run the world, my world at least, I thought it would be nice of me to tell my sons and my parents what I would want. I’m not a control freak, just helpful that way. Smiles.

Here’s a snippet. “Cremate me. Go cheap, but tasteful on all decisions.” I would alter that now. “Cremate me. Be cost conscious, but tasteful.” I don’t want to be cheap, ever.

I requested that Coke and Trident White be plentiful. I no longer drink the soda but certainly a gift bag of gum for all would be fun. Party favors from a funeral could start a new trend. I suggested pink sparkly pens too.

My strongest wish throughout my notes was that everyone hug my boys and tell them how much their mommy loved them. A mother’s love is one true love that lasts forever.

Along with the requisite photos to be displayed (I wanted photo approval here too but not sure how to get that from the grave. Vain until the end.), I thought a poster board of the things I loved would be fun too.

A few fresh bouquets in pretty vases were all I wanted. I said instead to buy a bouquet for someone in your life, anyone who had touched your life, big or small. I still like this plan. Instead of funeral flowers, buy a bunch for someone else and one for yourself.

For those compelled to give money donations, I suggested my boys’ college funds or The Literacy Council. I also said again to make a donation to someone who has moved you along in your spiritual journey. The other “in lieu of flowers” idea was to do something nice for yourself.. Go get a pedicure or a great bottle of wine or have a wonderful meal. Forget funeral flowers. Treat you.

Being the communicator until the end, I gave instructions and password to get into my weekly email newsletter that goes out every Friday to notify readers of my death. I don’t want people wondering why the newsletter didn’t go out. Rely on me, even from beyond.

Hopefully my editors would post a farewell in this space so you would know that I wanted to keep writing my column, but technical difficulties prevent it. I was able to send in regularly from France and all my travels, but I’m pretty sure emailing from the other side beyond this physical plane is not happening.

I closed my notes with “Hopefully I won’t die for a very long time and my beloved soulmate (I know you’re out there) will know exactly what to do and how I would want my life to be partied upon my death.”

That absolutely has happened. I don’t think about the end of this earthly life. My Prince Charming, my beloved soulmate, is great at reminding me to focus on right here right now. When my passing comes, if he is still here, he will know exactly what to do, what I want, and he will make it even better that I could ever have imagined.

Join me in taking a breath. Focus on the here and now. Get a pedicure, a glass of wine, a great meal. Buy yourself some flowers. If you want, buy me some too, while I’m here to enjoy them. And tell someone you love them.

(Kelly Epperson Simmons is author/speaker/book coach who delights in joys of all kinds. Write info@kellyepperson.com to be added to the weekly Friday Inspiration Email or for anything. Cheers.)