[Perry] Lament of The Wolverine

Word to the wise, the not so wise, and everyone in between: 

The following post is a very well-behaved post and does not contain spoilers for the recent Wolverine movie save for the things you can glean from the trailers.

The comments section tends to be a bit of a rebel and quite the unruly brat so tread yonder at your own risk.

EDIT: THE COMMENTS SECTION HAS SPOILERS (to make it absolutely clear ^^)

So recently, I hied myself off to yon theater to check out the latest of latest flickytoons.

I was hoping for glory and honor.

I was hoping for at least a little bit more blood to clawing action ratio.

I was hoping for more shirtless Hugh Jackman…don’t judge me. Even as a perfectly straight guy, I can appreciate the work that goes into getting into THAT kind of shape!

Out of my hopes? I got one of those things.

Hugh Jackman is totally ripped.

Look at what he had to do to get there!

But ignoring the veins popping out on his arms like a roadmap, there’s a deeper problem that I wanted to talk about.

Here’s the thing…I don’t walk into McDonalds expecting fine dining, right? I don’t climb into my battered Hyundai, expecting it to take off like an italian sports car.

I don’t walk into a superhero movie expecting a mind-blowing film.

It’d be a wonderful surprise if it DOES do it, to be sure…but I don’t go in expecting it to happen.

This is what happened:

Imagine you walk into a restaurant…and a well-groomed maître d’hôtel with a thin, curled mustache takes your coat and escorts you to your table. Imagine he seats you and your date. The atmosphere is soft and cozy, oozing the kind of opulence that doesn’t rely on ostentation. Imagine that the lighting is soft and muted. Imagine the low background mutter of conversation you can hear from other diners all around you. Imagine the server (impeccably dressed, I might add) returns and reads out to you the day’s specials.

He asks if you would like the Big Mac or the cheeseburger combo and whether or not you want extra large fries with your order.

This, more than anything else, is how I sum up my experience watching The Wolverine.

Honestly, I think that I enjoyed the first Wolverine movie more than this new one.

Don’t get me wrong.

This new Wolverine movie is better than the first one in just about every single way.

But there’s an important thing to consider.

The first Wolverine movie, I was walking into McDonalds, right from the get-go, you know? I knew what I was getting and the movie never really misled me. It was just…the familiar yellow glow of the big ole M and and array of people at the counter, asking me if I’d like fries with that.

The NEW Wolverine movie, though? The new Wolverine sits you down at a prestigious four star restaurant…then it offers you a Happy Meal.

Based on the trailers and the first twenty minutes of the movie, I was expecting something wonderful. I was expecting the story of a man who was essentially immortal. A man who didn’t age and couldn’t be killed. A man who essentially watched helplessly over the years as those he loved passed away of violence and old age while there was nothing at all he could do to save them.

I was expecting the story of a man, struggling with guilt and grief, being offered a way out.

I was expecting a movie where Wolverine is presented with the choice and struggles with it, torn between wanting it and feeling that he was giving up. I figured that we’d get a movie where he spent the time debating the choice and meeting new people on the way. I figured he’d learn of the way of the samurai and the code of Bushido, embracing it and realize that to simply give up was not in his nature.

Alternatively, I was also expecting a movie where he agrees to the offer, finally choosing to set down his heavy burden. I figured maybe after the operation is successful, he’d try to live out life as a normal mutant in Japan…when maybe he meets a woman. Maybe he dares to fall in love again. Maybe something happens to her and in order to save her, he realizes that he needs his abilities. In acknowledging that need, he chooses to reverse the procedure (learning that it’s a one-time thing and that he can never go back to being mortal!!) and shoulders the burden of his immortality once more.

That was the promise the movie made me.

Do you know what I got instead?

I got a movie about a prominent Japanese family, dealing with some Yakuza troubles, so there’s some political maneuverings and new science to help the powerful family fend off the attacks and assassination attempts.

…oh yeah, and Wolverine gets randomly mixed into their affairs…sort of.

Why was I so much more disappointed with this new movie than the first one?

Because the first one didn’t really have potential to be more than what it was. It was a cheesy, plothole ridden, campy mess and it never aspired to anything more. It never had a mask on, you know what I mean?

This new one though?

Ye gods and little fishes, did it EVER have potential.

It could have been a fascinating character study of a man who was bent over backward with the weight of immortality.

It could have been  a wondrous look at the strength of the character, Wolverine’s sheer drive and will to push forward when he repeals his immortality to save the ones he loves.

It could have been directed by Aron Aronofsky, who’s responsible for movies like The Fountain, Black Swan, and Requiem for a Dream (he was directing and working on the project before he dropped out a few months in).

Can you imagine what this movie could have been?

I don’t think that it would have been overly grimdark in tone. At the end of the day, no matter which director is at the helm, it’s still a Marvel movie. It’s an X-Men movie and there’s a certain level of humor and campiness that’s needed in order to make superhero movies work…

…But it could have had a lot more emotional weight. It could have held a message about the potential consequences of the choices we make. It could have reminded us of the nobility of sacrificing that which you want, above all else, in order to save the ones you love.

It could have been something unique and beautiful…and instead?

Instead, it chose the safe and easy path.

It chose not to take risks and to just make the ‘safe’ movie.

And I get it. I really do. When you’re working with budgets that huge, there are focus groups and there are a lot of fingers in the pie, eager to ensure that their investment is protected and that the movie appeals to as wide and shallow a pool as possible to make sure it rakes in the dough.

But in taking the safe route, they give up the chance at glory.

They really had the chance here to be…sort of like The Dark Knight of Marvel movies. They had a powerful, driven character and a story that would have explored a weighty emotional issue and could have left a message that would resound in our heads days after we walked out of the theater.

And they gave it up.

Instead of a gloriously perfect twelve ounce steak with all of the sides and a lovely glass of red, we got a couple chicken nuggets and a large Coke and were told to be satisfied that we got food at all.

I think I’d rather stay hungry.

 

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