It's a girl - the three deadliest words in the world!
Evan Grae Davis speaks
at TEDxGateway about the new word called gendercide and its implications. As I watch,
I start to feel nauseated.
A
woman somewhere in South India smiles and enacts how she killed eight of her
new-borns just because she was a girl. She has no sign of remorse when she
shows the home made graveyard where she buried all eight of them. Makes you shiver. Does it not? But it’s
hardly unique. Chances are - you are all too familiar with different versions
of the same story.
If you are girl (I know you
didn’t have any control over it), then you are a criminal and you deserve to be
punished. If you were lucky not to be killed when you were but a foetus, or a little
girl, if you were not given less food, education or playtime compared to your
brother, if you were not raped, abused, if you somehow made it to getting
married then also your dowry has to be adequate, else, you may never rest in
peace in your husband’s house, may even die a dowry death.
In our country sons are assets
and daughters are liabilities. Quite literally. For when a daughter is born,
parents have to start saving right away, for the dowry of her marriage. A son,
on the other hand, is valued; because he will, after all, be the pension of old
age and also there will be a probability of earning a huge sum through the
dowry.
As
a result “it’s a girl” are considered the three deadliest words. And, right
now, 200 millions of women are missing in India and China. That’s eight zeroes
after two. Can you even begin to fathom the enormity of the number? Well, here’s
a staggering statistic from Evan Grae Davis
to help you understand: 200 million is more than all of the deaths of World War
l, World War ll and all the major battles of the 20th century combined. It’s
more than the number of people killed in all of the major genocides of the 20th
century combined.
Do
you now understand what a sinner our society is? But gendercide is only the
peak of the iceberg. As more number of girls are killed, the highly skewed sex
ratio triggers many other crimes: human trafficking being the most important of
them. Couples don’t want daughters but they want daughters-in-law to produce
them yet another male heir. Hence millions of girls are abducted each year,
often in their childhood and sold to other families as their future daughters-in-law.
In India there are several villages where there hasn’t been a single female
birth in generations. Horrific!
What is the reason behind this brutality?
Many
would argue education. But is it really? We have women stationed in every position
imaginable. From the highest posts in the democracy to the grass root level
social worker. Some others would argue poverty. But then again, we have so many
incidents of influential families not wanting girl children and forcing their
daughters-in-law to abort.
What
is it then? According to me it’s the deep sense of patriarchy rooted in our
psyche for many centuries. It’s the belief that girls are simply not good
enough, no matter what they might achieve.
And
greed! We Indians may preach ourselves as peaceful and simple human beings, but
our greed knows no bar! We can do anything for money. We can even kill our
daughters in order to save us the dowry money.
And
the farce of the law system. We have a law present for everything! Child
marriage is banned, dowry is illegal, sex determination of foetus is unlawful.
But who cares? Neither the common people, nor the law enforcers.
And
the greed again. To a point that it eclipses all sense of morality. Doctors are
happy to tell the sex of the foetus in exchange of a large sum of money and
conveniently ignore the fact that it may lead to abortion. Police is least
bothered to investigate a suspicious death of the young daughter-in-law of a
family if no monetary gain is promised. An IAS officer doesn’t mind to boast
that his position entitles him to a huge dowry.
In
all, it becomes a vicious cycle. As the sex ratio continues to be more skewed,
crimes like rapes grow in number. As these crimes grow in number, parents
become more apathetic towards having a girl child. And it goes on. No one addresses
the real problem. The whole nation sleeps through when the worst form of
violence takes away the lives of millions of women.
What can we do?
Honestly?
Everything. It’s not much being asked for. We all are just becoming animals under our
humanoid masks. Anything that doesn’t disturb our interests doesn’t bother us. If
we could only identify more with the form we wear in our daily lives we could
stop this barbarity easily.
We
are human after all, the most superior species on the earth. Why can’t we be humanitarian?
Why can’t we be a little more conscientious? Why can’t we be outrageous? Why don’t
we resist? Why do we let it happen? Why the parents or the husband have no fear
of consequences when they kill? Where is their humanity? Why even the police
refuse to do their duty? Why the doctors, the human gods, play with lives for
money? Why even the neighbours or the relatives of such heinous criminals do
nothing? Why, even the men are so indifferent to this issue? Why all such awareness events have 99% women attendees? Just because they don’t want any trouble in their peaceful lives?
As
Rita Banerji points out, if we could just accept our responsibility in having
allowed things to go horribly wrong, half the battle would be won. To me, even
having to justify that women shouldn’t be killed feels inhuman. And sometimes I
tend to feel guilty about not being able to solve all the problems myself. I feel
guilty of having the privileges I have while my own kind is being systematically
annihilated from the face of the earth. But
then, I reason, I can do only what I can do. And so do all of us. We can take
our discussions out of our kitty parties to a larger number of people. All of
us have numerous acquaintances of all classes: the positive of being in India. We
can talk to all of them, we can try to understand their notions, try to make
them see the horrors of it too. The next time we see dowry being asked, we can
put a stop to it. The next time we see our maid’s daughter giving proxy for her
by cutting the school, we can put a stop to it. If we just could be happy with
whatever we have and not greed for more, we can put a stop to the horror. If we
suspect something wrong in any of the household we know, instead of letting
them be, we can confront them. If we each do our own small shares, whatever we
can, it would still have a huge impact.
If
we all do it, and succeed, and then the people whom we spoke to, do it to more
people and succeed- the chain reaction would be enough to eradicate the
horrible curse of gendercide off our lives. If we could just curb our wants a
little, we can be a normal balanced society. Give our daughters a better future
and give our sons a better life too.
So
let’s join hand in hand and make the three deadly words, “it’s a girl” full of
joy, just the way it is supposed to be.
Love,
Riot of Random
at TEDxGateway about the new word called gendercide and its implications. As I watch,
I start to feel nauseated.
A
woman somewhere in South India smiles and enacts how she killed eight of her
new-borns just because she was a girl. She has no sign of remorse when she
shows the home made graveyard where she buried all eight of them. Makes you shiver. Does it not? But it’s
hardly unique. Chances are - you are all too familiar with different versions
of the same story.
If you are girl (I know you
didn’t have any control over it), then you are a criminal and you deserve to be
punished. If you were lucky not to be killed when you were but a foetus, or a little
girl, if you were not given less food, education or playtime compared to your
brother, if you were not raped, abused, if you somehow made it to getting
married then also your dowry has to be adequate, else, you may never rest in
peace in your husband’s house, may even die a dowry death.
In our country sons are assets
and daughters are liabilities. Quite literally. For when a daughter is born,
parents have to start saving right away, for the dowry of her marriage. A son,
on the other hand, is valued; because he will, after all, be the pension of old
age and also there will be a probability of earning a huge sum through the
dowry.
As
a result “it’s a girl” are considered the three deadliest words. And, right
now, 200 millions of women are missing in India and China. That’s eight zeroes
after two. Can you even begin to fathom the enormity of the number? Well, here’s
a staggering statistic from Evan Grae Davis
to help you understand: 200 million is more than all of the deaths of World War
l, World War ll and all the major battles of the 20th century combined. It’s
more than the number of people killed in all of the major genocides of the 20th
century combined.
Do
you now understand what a sinner our society is? But gendercide is only the
peak of the iceberg. As more number of girls are killed, the highly skewed sex
ratio triggers many other crimes: human trafficking being the most important of
them. Couples don’t want daughters but they want daughters-in-law to produce
them yet another male heir. Hence millions of girls are abducted each year,
often in their childhood and sold to other families as their future daughters-in-law.
In India there are several villages where there hasn’t been a single female
birth in generations. Horrific!
What is the reason behind this brutality?
Many
would argue education. But is it really? We have women stationed in every position
imaginable. From the highest posts in the democracy to the grass root level
social worker. Some others would argue poverty. But then again, we have so many
incidents of influential families not wanting girl children and forcing their
daughters-in-law to abort.
What
is it then? According to me it’s the deep sense of patriarchy rooted in our
psyche for many centuries. It’s the belief that girls are simply not good
enough, no matter what they might achieve.
And
greed! We Indians may preach ourselves as peaceful and simple human beings, but
our greed knows no bar! We can do anything for money. We can even kill our
daughters in order to save us the dowry money.
And
the farce of the law system. We have a law present for everything! Child
marriage is banned, dowry is illegal, sex determination of foetus is unlawful.
But who cares? Neither the common people, nor the law enforcers.
And
the greed again. To a point that it eclipses all sense of morality. Doctors are
happy to tell the sex of the foetus in exchange of a large sum of money and
conveniently ignore the fact that it may lead to abortion. Police is least
bothered to investigate a suspicious death of the young daughter-in-law of a
family if no monetary gain is promised. An IAS officer doesn’t mind to boast
that his position entitles him to a huge dowry.
In
all, it becomes a vicious cycle. As the sex ratio continues to be more skewed,
crimes like rapes grow in number. As these crimes grow in number, parents
become more apathetic towards having a girl child. And it goes on. No one addresses
the real problem. The whole nation sleeps through when the worst form of
violence takes away the lives of millions of women.
What can we do?
Honestly?
Everything. It’s not much being asked for. We all are just becoming animals under our
humanoid masks. Anything that doesn’t disturb our interests doesn’t bother us. If
we could only identify more with the form we wear in our daily lives we could
stop this barbarity easily.
We
are human after all, the most superior species on the earth. Why can’t we be humanitarian?
Why can’t we be a little more conscientious? Why can’t we be outrageous? Why don’t
we resist? Why do we let it happen? Why the parents or the husband have no fear
of consequences when they kill? Where is their humanity? Why even the police
refuse to do their duty? Why the doctors, the human gods, play with lives for
money? Why even the neighbours or the relatives of such heinous criminals do
nothing? Why, even the men are so indifferent to this issue? Why all such awareness events have 99% women attendees? Just because they don’t want any trouble in their peaceful lives?
As
Rita Banerji points out, if we could just accept our responsibility in having
allowed things to go horribly wrong, half the battle would be won. To me, even
having to justify that women shouldn’t be killed feels inhuman. And sometimes I
tend to feel guilty about not being able to solve all the problems myself. I feel
guilty of having the privileges I have while my own kind is being systematically
annihilated from the face of the earth. But
then, I reason, I can do only what I can do. And so do all of us. We can take
our discussions out of our kitty parties to a larger number of people. All of
us have numerous acquaintances of all classes: the positive of being in India. We
can talk to all of them, we can try to understand their notions, try to make
them see the horrors of it too. The next time we see dowry being asked, we can
put a stop to it. The next time we see our maid’s daughter giving proxy for her
by cutting the school, we can put a stop to it. If we just could be happy with
whatever we have and not greed for more, we can put a stop to the horror. If we
suspect something wrong in any of the household we know, instead of letting
them be, we can confront them. If we each do our own small shares, whatever we
can, it would still have a huge impact.
If
we all do it, and succeed, and then the people whom we spoke to, do it to more
people and succeed- the chain reaction would be enough to eradicate the
horrible curse of gendercide off our lives. If we could just curb our wants a
little, we can be a normal balanced society. Give our daughters a better future
and give our sons a better life too.
So
let’s join hand in hand and make the three deadly words, “it’s a girl” full of
joy, just the way it is supposed to be.
Love,
This post is written as part of Indiblogger's IdeaCaravan in association with Franklin Templeton Asset Management (India) Pvt. Ltd. Franklin Templeton Investments partnered the TEDxGateway Mumbai in December 2012. Watch the speakers narrate their riveting stories of innovation on www.ftideacaravan.com.
© copyright 2012 – All rights reserved
Riot of Random
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