On being other (again)
I've stopped my morning's work in order to think. Several times this month, people have described me with phrases like "Jewish descent" or "Jewish ancestry" "you" (the 'you' being a plural and referring to my extraordinary close affinity with people most of whom I'll never, ever meet and whose common ancestor, if there is one, might have separated from mine 2000 years ago, but definitely no closer than 300 years ago*). One of these people was a student. I'm trying to articulate how very uncomfortable it makes me. It's flavoured my July with a tinge of bitterness, the way my April and May were coloured by the eyesight problems.
My ancestors were Jewish as far back as I can find out, I don't dispute that. My culture, however, is Australian. Genetically, my inheritance is... and here's the rub - there may well be some traits in my genes that are influenced by my family belonging to a particular group that has hung out together for centuries.
Is that the whole picture, though? Are we certain that I'm genetically Jewish in all directions, going all that far back? And why aren't people who have just one known ancestor who was a practising Jew called "of Jewish ancestry"? I have heard people who have converted to Judaism called "Of Jewish descent." The phrases are not meant literally for the most part, and there lies the problem. Or a part of the problem.
For me, I'm Jewish. I don't mind being called Jewish, for my religion is Judaism. But to define someone by othering them (which is what these phrases do: "You are not people like us") is to keep alive some very nasty memories. It's also an affirmation of the current wave of antisemitism, however innocently the description is meant. I'll get to this latter, shortly.
Ask someone Jewish how they describe themselves, please. Stick to that, if you can. It makes a difference.
I describe myself as Australian. My descent (when I am asked to describe it ) is 'mixed European.' For me, Judaism is my religion. I have far more in common with other Australians of various European backgrounds than I have with Jews with quite different ancestry and nationality to my own. I can break this down for anyone puzzled by it or who needs clarification. I can break it down linguistically, in terms of food traditions, in terms of nationality, in lots of ways.
I may technically belong to a group of people who share a religion that goes back a way, but then, so do my Catholic friends, who are never told that they are of Catholic descent. I have Buddhist friends who are not of Buddhist ancestry. And yet these people were taught their religion in the same way I was, by their parents.
The boundary between religious culture and other culture is a blurry one. It's a particularly blurry one for the vast complexity of Jewish cultures. This makes the phrases arguably accurate in describing some people (eg me), but that still doesn't make them good phrases to use without checking with the person you're describing.
What's not blurry is the amount of antisemitism around. It doesn't need encouraging by the acceptance of an othering culture for Jews. I am Australian. I have European ancestry. My Judaism is part of my life, and was of my ancestors, but every time someone defines it in a way that others me, that makes it more than it should be, then those reading or listening who already other Jews are encouraged to believe that they're right.
If you discover that an old friend is Jewish and has never told you, using phrases like this may be one of the reasons. "You people" is a worrying phrase when, just one generation ago, over six million people described like that were brutally murdered. Every time I meet new people I get someone coming up to me and admitting they're Jewish or that their parents or grandparents had been but they didn't admit it outside the family or had entirely lost the religion because family members had been murdered for it. Othering is not without side-effects for those who are othered.
I admit publicly to being Jewish largely because it's inevitable, given my family, but also for these people, who can't. And because I hate having bullies win. I've paid for this public admission, however, with interesting life experiences and with PTSD. Little phrases can have big consequences.
If someone Jewish tells you they like the universal 'you' or 'you people' for Jews, and if they like being known by that aspect of their ancestors' backgrounds, then by all means use these phrases about them. Me, though, I hate those phrases intensely, for I grew up surrounded by Holocaust survivors and I have felt the effects of that othering and I do not want it in my little world.
*When I do my "Are we rellos?" check, the first thing I find out is where people are from. That saves a lot of time in determining who I really, really am not related to. It turns out that I'm not related to an awful lot of people. It also turns out that I have actual relatives who are not Jewish. Yep. I know. Very strange.
My ancestors were Jewish as far back as I can find out, I don't dispute that. My culture, however, is Australian. Genetically, my inheritance is... and here's the rub - there may well be some traits in my genes that are influenced by my family belonging to a particular group that has hung out together for centuries.
Is that the whole picture, though? Are we certain that I'm genetically Jewish in all directions, going all that far back? And why aren't people who have just one known ancestor who was a practising Jew called "of Jewish ancestry"? I have heard people who have converted to Judaism called "Of Jewish descent." The phrases are not meant literally for the most part, and there lies the problem. Or a part of the problem.
For me, I'm Jewish. I don't mind being called Jewish, for my religion is Judaism. But to define someone by othering them (which is what these phrases do: "You are not people like us") is to keep alive some very nasty memories. It's also an affirmation of the current wave of antisemitism, however innocently the description is meant. I'll get to this latter, shortly.
Ask someone Jewish how they describe themselves, please. Stick to that, if you can. It makes a difference.
I describe myself as Australian. My descent (when I am asked to describe it ) is 'mixed European.' For me, Judaism is my religion. I have far more in common with other Australians of various European backgrounds than I have with Jews with quite different ancestry and nationality to my own. I can break this down for anyone puzzled by it or who needs clarification. I can break it down linguistically, in terms of food traditions, in terms of nationality, in lots of ways.
I may technically belong to a group of people who share a religion that goes back a way, but then, so do my Catholic friends, who are never told that they are of Catholic descent. I have Buddhist friends who are not of Buddhist ancestry. And yet these people were taught their religion in the same way I was, by their parents.
The boundary between religious culture and other culture is a blurry one. It's a particularly blurry one for the vast complexity of Jewish cultures. This makes the phrases arguably accurate in describing some people (eg me), but that still doesn't make them good phrases to use without checking with the person you're describing.
What's not blurry is the amount of antisemitism around. It doesn't need encouraging by the acceptance of an othering culture for Jews. I am Australian. I have European ancestry. My Judaism is part of my life, and was of my ancestors, but every time someone defines it in a way that others me, that makes it more than it should be, then those reading or listening who already other Jews are encouraged to believe that they're right.
If you discover that an old friend is Jewish and has never told you, using phrases like this may be one of the reasons. "You people" is a worrying phrase when, just one generation ago, over six million people described like that were brutally murdered. Every time I meet new people I get someone coming up to me and admitting they're Jewish or that their parents or grandparents had been but they didn't admit it outside the family or had entirely lost the religion because family members had been murdered for it. Othering is not without side-effects for those who are othered.
I admit publicly to being Jewish largely because it's inevitable, given my family, but also for these people, who can't. And because I hate having bullies win. I've paid for this public admission, however, with interesting life experiences and with PTSD. Little phrases can have big consequences.
If someone Jewish tells you they like the universal 'you' or 'you people' for Jews, and if they like being known by that aspect of their ancestors' backgrounds, then by all means use these phrases about them. Me, though, I hate those phrases intensely, for I grew up surrounded by Holocaust survivors and I have felt the effects of that othering and I do not want it in my little world.
*When I do my "Are we rellos?" check, the first thing I find out is where people are from. That saves a lot of time in determining who I really, really am not related to. It turns out that I'm not related to an awful lot of people. It also turns out that I have actual relatives who are not Jewish. Yep. I know. Very strange.
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