Plotting Princesses Kelly Lee: How You Know You're a #Mom

Hi all, I'm one of the quiet princesses unless I have something to say, but this really tickled my funny bone so I thought I needed to share. It hit me recently as I was rushing around in that harried-mom sort of way, I find myself in uniquely "mommish" situations that in a million years I never would have otherwise, except for the blessing (or curse) of motherhood.


As I spent a full twenty minutes searching my jewelry box for a matching set of earrings (none of them are paired anymore), the litany of mom-only problems I encounter daily cartwheeled around in my head, bouncing off my skull. Then I realized it wasn't thoughts banging around in there, but the beginnings of a headache that only a glass of wine would cure. 


After enjoying said glass of wine (or three), I got the giggles with my another mommy, and we made a list of the top 5 ways you know you're a mom. Now granted, yes, you already know you're a mom since you squeezed out the little 8 pound bowling ball of joy first-hand.... but it's funnier this way. So go with it.


Top 5 ways you know you're a mom:
5. You haven't gone to the bathroom alone in years.

4. The tiny people running around your house are bathed, coiffed, and hygienically sound, but you haven't washed your hair in two days.

3. You listen to "Kidz-Bop" versions of contemporary songs even when you're alone because it doesn't have "all the language".

2. Every shirt you own has snot stains on one shoulder.

1. You'd rather eat cut glass than attempt to trim the nails of the short person running through your house.

Bonus roll:  Plate? What's a plate?  Doesn't everyone just eat the leftovers off a highchair tray?

To all the other mothers out there - I salute you!!!  United we stand.... until someone breaks out the wine, then "united we collapse on the couch" and laugh our patooties off!

Hugs to all,
Princess Kelly
www.kellyleefiction.com