EVERY STINKIN' WORD

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Why do they have to put
every STINKIN' word
in the English language
in the dictionary
when
if you know how to read
you already know what
a cat
a table
a tree
a bird
or a turd is
(1. A piece of excrement.
2. A contemptible person.)

It's just a ploy
to sell you something big and fat
at a hefty price
(like a front row ticket to a Wynona concert)

Like that bag of potato chips
that's only half full--
it's sold by weight, you see
but they could have put them
in a smaller bag
if they weren't trying to rook you

Like the half page of fine print
beneath that satellite TV headline:
TWO THOUSAND
FIVE HUNDRED
AND SIXTY-FOUR CHANNELS
FOR ONLY $19.95
sakes alive
you'll spend the rest of the day
 trying to figure out
what you'll really pay

Deception runs rampant

A sad commentary
on our human condition
the profit motive overshadowing  
all sense of decency and fair play
as we shrug our shoulders and say
that's just the way people are

So many turds floating around
in the human gene pool--
there oughta be a sign regularly posted  that says:
"Pool Closed For Cleaning"