The 10 Commandments of Effective Leadership #4—Don’t Avoid Confrontation
The 10 Commandments of effective leadership #4—Don’t avoid confrontation
The fourth of the 10 commandments of effective leadership says “Thou shalt not avoid confrontation.” One of the challenges of leadership is that the qualities that makes you a very good leader—nice, kind, generous heart—can also make you ineffective.
Do not avoid confrontation
As a leader, people generally expect you to be nice, but you destroy your potential to lead effectively if you care so much about preserving your image of niceness. What makes you likable to the people can destroy your organization if, at the expense of being liked, you won’t confront what needs to be confronted.
“When you are afraid to confront people, you will throw your frustration in your speech and hope your team members get it out of the speech.” You need to take the issue out of the speech, look whoever is concerned right in the face, and tell him or her exactly what needs to be said. Do not avoid confrontation!
Being liked vs. being effective
To obey the 10 commandments of effective leadership, you have to be prepared to put being liked at risk for the sake of being effective. As a leader, you have to decide if you want to be liked or you want to be effective.
What makes you likable to the people can destroy your organization if, at the expense of being liked, you won’t confront what needs to be confronted.— T.D. Jakes
Most great leaders are defined by history. People like them after they are gone. Dr. Martin Luther King became popular after his death, he confronted issues while he was alive. You cannot be a leader if you cannot confront issues.
Confront the issue without being confrontational
To be an effective leader, you’ve got to be prepared to confront issues without being confrontational or argumentative.
“You can confront the issue without being confrontational”— T.D. Jakes
The only reason you are angry is because you waited too long to say what needs to be said. You could have destroyed the problem in its embryo before it became a grandparent.
As a leader, you have to have the nerve and the audacity to confront people and let them know they said that you don’t like, what you don’t like about what they said, what needs to change if both of you will continue to work together, how you can both make it if they are willing to fix it, and the possibility of parting ways if they are unwilling to change.
You are going to lose some people
You are going to lose some people; if Jesus lost one out of twelve, you should be prepared to lose ten percent to make it where you want to go. Stop trying to keep the infection in the house. Let it go! Bleed it out! Get it out! Push it out! Pull it out! If you don’t, it’s going to contaminate your gift, your organization, and your team; it is going to make you lead with bitterness rather than with happiness.
Confront the issue, not the individual
The very first thing God taught Joshua about leadership is character for effective leadership: be strong and be very courageous.
You have to have the courage to confront the issue, and not the individual.
If you make the issue the focus of the confrontation rather than the individual, you might be able to save the relationship and remove the cancer without destroying the kidney.— T.D. Jakes
When you make the issue and the individual synonymous, you destroy the kidney while removing the cancer. This means in order to eradicate the issue you have to destroy the individual.
You have to be able to make the individual understand that you are not against them personally, but you are against what they did, you are against being late, or you are against the fact that they can’t type. Let them understand that you can have their person but you cannot have the issue in the organization. But you cannot do that if you are not mature enough to master your own feelings and personality while you confront theirs.
As a leader, have you had any reason to confront any of your team members in the past? How did you handle it? As a team member, have you been confronted by your leader in the past, how did you think they handled it? Share your thoughts:
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