Mourning Gratefully

I'm currently reading Golden Boy by Abigail Tarttelin. I'm only about half-way through and I'm completely captivated.

SPOILER WARNING: You might want to not read any more of this post if you haven't read this book yet.

The book features a character who's pregnant and not happy about it. An adolescent character who's pregnant. As this character processes this situation and deals with it, I am reminded that I'll never be pregnant. I'll never be able to say to my mother, in distress or otherwise, "I'm pregnant." There was a time when I announced to my parents that my girlfriend was pregnant with my child, though that's not quite the same.

Again, I find myself mourning my lack of a womb, mourning another way in which being trans* has betrayed me.

However, I am grateful for the fact that I have not had to face the types of situations that the character in Golden Boy faces. I am grateful that I got to be a father, and that I still am a father though I'm a woman now. I'm grateful that, in some certain select ways, I've been able to be a mother of sorts.

So, I find myself mourning, but gratefully. Abigail Tarttelin, you are a masterful writer indeed, if you can inspire this strong a reaction in a reader who's only half-way through your book.