How to handle reaching your upper limit

It’s inevitable – life has ups and downs. As a parent, sometimes those lows feel like canyons it takes days to climb out of. And the highs can literally knock you on your back, leave you breathless, and filled with gratitude.

So, how do we handle these ups and downs?

This question is bouncing around my brain and heart, especially as I travel around the East Coast. I recently visited with dear friends, incredible family, and surprisingly beautiful strangers. I spent days at the beach, hours losing myself in forests, and days talking and listening and laughing and loving. So much gratitude and goodness and joy.

Then came my birthday.

For those of you who sent me cards, facebook notes, emails, texts, and well wishes – Thank You! I truly appreciate all the love, and boy did I feel surrounded and held that day. Every minute was exquisite and I savored all of it.

Then the next morning, I woke up. In a funk.

Funky funky funk funk.

If I hadn’t just turned 42, let’s say…if I was 15, or 12, or 7, or 5…

I might’ve come out of my room and been snotty to my sister. Or refused to eat breakfast. Or complained about being tired all day.

I had hit my upper limit. I was filled to the brim on my birthday, and the coming down from that wasn’t easy, didn’t feel good.

This happens to all of us.

Tell me if this situation has ever happened – you plan a fantastic day, your children are lovely and laughing and all their needs are met, all your needs are met, things are just FANTASTIC. Then you get home and they start to crash – they complain, they fight, they get pouty.

How dare they! Right? Don’t they know how hard it was to make such a wonderful experience for them? Didn’t they just have a great time? Why are they acting this way?

Turns out, we need a release – even from goodness. We get stimulated and filled to the brim, and then we’ve got to shake it out. The crying or the whining may not be because something’s wrong, it may just be emotions moving through.

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So, there I was, in a funk, knowing I needed a release. What became my main goal?

And this may be the hardest part, but my main goal was to…

NOT get wrapped up in the story of WHY I was feeling this way.

NOT try to “figure out” what happened, what shifted, why I was so happy then in a funk.

With this goal in mind, what did I do?

I took a long walk.

I was quiet.

I made space for myself.

I spoke kind words to myself.

I didn’t get hung up on why I was feeling it.

Then my “funk” passed. It moved through me.

I didn’t try to justify my emotions, I didn’t explain it, I just let it be, felt it, and then it was gone.

So what can you do when your little ones  hit an upper limit after too much goodness?

Create a slow spacious day.

Make eye contact.

Give empathy.

Welcome the meltdown.

I know that last one is hard sometimes but I assure you that it’s the quickest route back to peace, ease and calm. Remember, sometimes, especially after a whole lot of excitement, the little humans (and the big ones too) just need to let it all go. And the best way to do that is a good ol’ fashioned melt down.

Here’s to experiencing life — with its highs and lows — to the fullest!

Love,

Carrie

If you feel like sharing your story of how you or your little Ones have hit an upper limit and what you’ve done to come back to balance, please comment below. We’d love to hear it.