On Writing and Life: Running A House And Working Full Time
How I Write Full Time And Run A House
I have three teenagers, a husband, and an odd cat who is in love with my husband and lays on his chest every night. I’m also a women's fiction writer. Here’s a little cheat sheet on how I run my house while working full time.
1) I do not fold my family’s laundry. I remember listening to a mother many years ago, when my daughter was a baby, complaining that she had spent two hours folding laundry the day before. I looked at her and thought, “She is absolutely insane. I will never, ever be like that woman.”
I wash laundry, I put it in the dryer, and I plop it on the floor. My kids come and get their laundry – this started when they were two – and put it in their drawers/closets themselves. Life is precious. Do not waste time folding clothes.
2) I rarely dust. I cannot possibly picture drumming up enough energy to make sure every speck is off my surfaces. How dreary. It takes time away from my imagination. Another time saver? I don’t even sort my silverware, I just toss it altogether into a drawer after it’s cleaned.
3) I have streamlined my home. I am a huge thrower. The best way to a clean house is to throw unnecessary items out on a regular basis like a Tazmanian She - Devil. Do not hesitate here, an organized home is essential to sanity. Get bags and start hauling it out. (This does not apply to my garage. Clearly, a cyclone has hit in there)
4) I buy a lot of prepared meals to make my life easier. My kids say I don’t cook, I “heat up.” It makes me laugh. When I sit down at the dinner table, I’m not stressed out so we have a good ole’ time. A home baked meal is worthless if an exhausted mom is crying into the sauce.
5) I make my kids help. My son and daughters scrub toilets, vacuum, do dishes, clean bathrooms, help with meals, and wash floors. They always have. I will not do this housework alone. I. Will. Not. Spoiled children grow up to be spoiled adults. Make your children work.
6) When I have a deadline, everyone helps more. I insist. They don’t help, they incur my wrath. It’s not pretty.
7) I take time away from my characters, plotlines and household stress to rest. I have heard so many times, “Take ten minutes out of each day for yourself.” What a crock. Ten minutes is barely enough time to hide in the bathroom or dig into a pint of ice cream. Insist on more time for yourself. Plan time on the weekends. Put the kids to bed earlier and have them read a book. Take a bath in the dark and if any kid interrupts you and they’re
not bleeding through their ears, take their favorite show away from them for a week. They’ll change immediately. You are a better woman if you’re not living like your hair’s on fire all day.
8) We have family dinners, even when I know I’ll be up until three in the morning writing. I see articles saying, “Have Family Dinner Once a Week,” and I just want to cry. That is not enough. If your kids are all in sports late, then have a Family Dessert Time afterwards. Family movie night with brownies. Pizza Night on Sunday. Poker night. You MUST get your family together more than once a week. Your kids must internalize that family is the most important thing in their lives.
9) One more thing…I compete with no one. Do not compete with other women for the perfect house, clothes, family. Do not compete with your neighbors or family members. If people are competing with you, drop them, irritating people must hit the highway.
Never strive for household perfection. It’s a pointless exercise, and it's shallow and boring. Invite honest, fun, interesting people to your home for fettuccine alfredo and chocolate pie. Be happy about the little things in life, be grateful that you are still here and, most of all, enjoy your family and friends, every day.
Gotta go. Must write.
I have three teenagers, a husband, and an odd cat who is in love with my husband and lays on his chest every night. I’m also a women's fiction writer. Here’s a little cheat sheet on how I run my house while working full time.
1) I do not fold my family’s laundry. I remember listening to a mother many years ago, when my daughter was a baby, complaining that she had spent two hours folding laundry the day before. I looked at her and thought, “She is absolutely insane. I will never, ever be like that woman.”
I wash laundry, I put it in the dryer, and I plop it on the floor. My kids come and get their laundry – this started when they were two – and put it in their drawers/closets themselves. Life is precious. Do not waste time folding clothes.
2) I rarely dust. I cannot possibly picture drumming up enough energy to make sure every speck is off my surfaces. How dreary. It takes time away from my imagination. Another time saver? I don’t even sort my silverware, I just toss it altogether into a drawer after it’s cleaned.
3) I have streamlined my home. I am a huge thrower. The best way to a clean house is to throw unnecessary items out on a regular basis like a Tazmanian She - Devil. Do not hesitate here, an organized home is essential to sanity. Get bags and start hauling it out. (This does not apply to my garage. Clearly, a cyclone has hit in there)
4) I buy a lot of prepared meals to make my life easier. My kids say I don’t cook, I “heat up.” It makes me laugh. When I sit down at the dinner table, I’m not stressed out so we have a good ole’ time. A home baked meal is worthless if an exhausted mom is crying into the sauce.
5) I make my kids help. My son and daughters scrub toilets, vacuum, do dishes, clean bathrooms, help with meals, and wash floors. They always have. I will not do this housework alone. I. Will. Not. Spoiled children grow up to be spoiled adults. Make your children work.
6) When I have a deadline, everyone helps more. I insist. They don’t help, they incur my wrath. It’s not pretty.
7) I take time away from my characters, plotlines and household stress to rest. I have heard so many times, “Take ten minutes out of each day for yourself.” What a crock. Ten minutes is barely enough time to hide in the bathroom or dig into a pint of ice cream. Insist on more time for yourself. Plan time on the weekends. Put the kids to bed earlier and have them read a book. Take a bath in the dark and if any kid interrupts you and they’re
not bleeding through their ears, take their favorite show away from them for a week. They’ll change immediately. You are a better woman if you’re not living like your hair’s on fire all day.
8) We have family dinners, even when I know I’ll be up until three in the morning writing. I see articles saying, “Have Family Dinner Once a Week,” and I just want to cry. That is not enough. If your kids are all in sports late, then have a Family Dessert Time afterwards. Family movie night with brownies. Pizza Night on Sunday. Poker night. You MUST get your family together more than once a week. Your kids must internalize that family is the most important thing in their lives.
9) One more thing…I compete with no one. Do not compete with other women for the perfect house, clothes, family. Do not compete with your neighbors or family members. If people are competing with you, drop them, irritating people must hit the highway.
Never strive for household perfection. It’s a pointless exercise, and it's shallow and boring. Invite honest, fun, interesting people to your home for fettuccine alfredo and chocolate pie. Be happy about the little things in life, be grateful that you are still here and, most of all, enjoy your family and friends, every day.
Gotta go. Must write.
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message 1:
by
Tasha
(new)
Jul 20, 2013 06:51AM
In one month I too will have 3 teenagers. It feels like I'm always folding laundry ..... guess what, not anymore, why bother. Thank you!
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This is very awesome - I especially love the one that says Do Not Compete. As women, we seem to have a tendency to let other women make us feel inferior because they have a cleaner house, do more crafts with their children, are thinner... and blah, blah, blah.
Teenagers can fold if they want. I drop it in the pile, they sort and come get it, and often sort our laundry, too. I don't fold my own stuff - it's hung up or dropped into bins. Folding laundry is a great way to waste precious minutes on earth.
Never compete with other women. It's pointless and a waste of time. I just try to have enough mochas and chocolate in my life. Much better than any woman - to - woman competition, right?
