Fandom Weirdness The Conclusion (it sucks)
When last we left poor Karen Hintz, she was stuck in a self named publisher’s diner being bored to death by the sexually ambiguous Mary Sue. Fortunately, the tale comes to an end-or what passes for one in Pacione’s mind.
“They drew from Nicholas’ life for ideas.”
Well that explains the unrelenting boredom of their tales. We all know he has no life.
“Nicholas encouraged real person fiction writers to draw from his memoir and blog for ideas. He said he would publish an anthology of these writers just to break them out there.”
“Nicholas Cicerone, I heard of him. I read some his nonfiction in a few small press magazines – one disturbing individual because you can’t believe that the horrific things he relates are real,”
Disturbing because of how they’re written, more than the content.
stories relating his horrors dealing with his health, acute cases of bronchitis
Yes, never mind cancer, Alzheimers, or the flesh eating bacteria-it’s bronchitis that’s a scary ass mofo. I wonder if the CDC is aware of this.
“A.J. Poe drew from the inspiration of the disappeared writer from the bloody pulps, Robert Blake, from the short story Haunter In the Dark by H.P. Lovecraft.
Apparently not even his characters have original thoughts either, and have to ape far better works.
“H.P. Lovecraft,” Karen replies with a chill down her spine.
This is the 6th mention of the illustrious writer, and not one appropriate use.
“He was influenced by the books Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark
I wish I was under the influence, even though I quit years ago. This may make me start drinking again.
“He was first published when he turned nineteen years of age on his birthday
As opposed to when he turned 19 when it wasn’t his birthday?
“The world of fandom is a dark, frightening thing
Not as frightening as having to read this drek for eternity.
The waitress walked in listening on to the narrative.
The nosy waitress returns! Super power of listening to a conversation she’s not close enough to hear! I can’t even get my check without waving semaphore flags.
“Writers in fandom will write just about anything,
Case in point, Fandom Weirdness.
Michael commented as he spoke to the waitress while she graced her black fingernails across the fanzine.
Yeah, just let that sink in.
“Mrs. Poe why yes – she did an actor story featuring the ghost of Vincent Price haunting Old Hollywood
Dammit, leave Price out of this! Have some decency!
They said nothing as they exited the diner. Just were left behind with experiences of horrors beyond their surreal nightmares
What? That’s it? They talk and leave? 6200 words and all that happens is indigestion?
Well, fear not, for coming soon is my own take on all this silliness, entitled “The Day Lloyd Campbell’s Mama Came to Town”.
