Crit Wall #12
Welcome to “Crit Wall“, where I offer online critiques of individual art pieces. To submit, send me a link to one image by commenting here, or by emailing the link to me at clara(at)claralieu.com. Please, NO ATTACHMENTS. Include the media, size, and title if you have one. Only submit original, finished works, no works in progress or sketches. Artwork created for a RISD degree program course is not eligible. You’ll receive notification if your piece is selected to be critiqued. Only one submission per person please, and know that I will not be able to critique every single work due to the volume of submissions. All images will be posted anonymously.
The painting of the bird is well executed, especially in the head. What makes this successful is that there is as consistent tightness to the brush strokes that is consistent throughout the entire bird. The details are beautifully rendered and have a delicate quality to them that is inviting. The bird needs to be integrated better with the collage elements. Currently, the bird seems too separate from the collage areas and doesn’t visually relate. One of the areas where the bird does start to integrate is where the branches go behind the “HOPE” letters. Perhaps if there were many more branches that extended out to the edges of the composition, the bird would have a greater presence and integrate better with the background. The addition of many more tiny, thin, delicate branches would provide a level of detail that would greatly enhance the piece.
In terms of the collage techniques used, this piece could be more fluid. In other words, it’s very obvious exactly where the papers have been torn. Instead, the ripped sheets could be torn less evenly and smoothly. The layering of the collage elements could be more playful and experimental, right now everything seems torn in a manner that is too neat and formal.
The “HOPE” letters on the left hand side draw too much attention to themselves. This is largely because they are high in contrast and because of the border around the letters. Text in a visual image is especially tricky and challenging. In general, text almost always takes attention away from the visuals; viewers can’t help but want to read the text first. The letters here would work better if they were slightly faded and more subtle.
The use of the Chinese text in the background comes across as arbitrary, and appears to be wallpaper that is simply filler for the background. There needs to be a stronger visual and/or conceptual relationship between the Chinese text and the rest of the image that is apparent to a broad audience. The piece of music in the background needs to be placed so that it is not dead center in the middle of the page. This choice seems too obvious and creates a composition that is not as dynamic as it could be.
Past “Crit Wall” pieces are below. Click on the images to read the critique.
