My Struggles – Part 2: Expectations
This is part two of my continuing series on some of the things I wrestle with in life that I’m calling “My Struggles.” Simple, I know, but it’s only fair that if I encourage you to chase your dreams I share my difficulties along the way. Check out part one here.
When I dream, I dream big. It’s a recurring theme in my life, and one that I’ve chosen to write more about just because not only do I believe we should all dream big, but we should chase those dreams down and make them realities as well. Dreams, however, require expectations, and expectations are notoriously difficult to manage.
When I was a kid I used to drive my parents crazy with new plans and dreams and overly-ambitious ideas. Turning our basement into an over-sized finch cage comes to mind. But the dreams I have as an adult are far less under my control. If it was my dream to build a finch cage today, I dare say that I should be able to accomplish it in a matter of days, which is what makes it a lame dream.
It’s possibly a great idea for sprucing up the place (musically at least), and a fun project, but dreams require so much more. Dreams are what we use to shift landscapes and change the world. Dreams are big and beyond our current capacity. Dreams are hard.
Expectations are what I’m struggling with now, however. Expecting to be a bestselling author, for example, or to meet and marry the dynamic woman I’ve always wanted, or make a full-length motion picture. These dreams are real, ones I’ve had my whole life, and ones that I may never achieve.
That’s the danger in dreaming big: I may never get what I want out of this. I may try really hard, do all that I can, and fail nonetheless. We see how timing and chance play such a strong factor in the success of so many. Will I have that timing? Will chance hold me in its favor?
The larger question is this: when, if ever, do I mitigate my expectations? Are they set too high? Should I dumb them down in exchange for something safer? Sometimes I wonder if my expectations are even realistic. Sometimes people ask me the same question. Sometimes bluntly.
Today I don’t know, but I’m going to keep pursuing my dreams just the way I always have. I would rather give it everything and fail miserably than settle for something less. Because at least I’ll know I didn’t give up, even if I have nothing to show for it (save a series of scars and PTSD). I’ll keep traveling, learning, growing, and pouring myself into those dreams, because eventually something’s gotta give – even if that something is me.
How about you? How do you decide when to give up? When do you mitigate your expectations?
