Bad Tattoos and the Idiots That Get Them…Like Me

Since I was a teenager, I have had the trashiest tattoo on my upper left arm. Try not to cringe as I describe it.

It is an armband, that goes all the way around and features a rose…wrapped in barb wire. I’m pretty sure the only way I could have made it more trailer park was to give it a mullet and a Trans-Am.

It’s allot like hers, but I don’t have the double D’s to draw the eye away.

When I was in high school, it seemed like a fantastic idea. I was sure I’d love it forever. I mean, I loved those awesome upper arm cuffs that were trendy for about three weeks in 1998. Why wouldn’t I love having one permanently tattooed on my upper arm?

Turns out, there’s a reason teenagers shouldn’t get tattoos. Because teenagers are morons.

I would love to be able to put on a bridesmaid dress and not look like the wedding I’m going to is happening at Universal Studios. I’d like to look normal in something that doesn’t have a Harley Davidson logo.  I’d like to be able to go sleeveless and not have people wonder how much time I did.

It’s not the fact that I have tattoos that’s a problem. It’s that the design of this tattoo is so absolutely ‘white trash’ that it immediately makes everything else look white trash too. Slap me on the steps of Buckingham Palace in a tank top and I will make that place look like a trailer park.

So I’m trying to decide what to do about it. I’ve tried makeup in the past, but thanks to the location and size, it’s just not an option. The makeup just smears all over the damn place, ruins my clothes and looks ridiculous.

I could have it lazered off, but I’ve also been leaning in another direction. Why not go all it? I’m always going to be a ‘tattoo’ kind of girl. In fact, I have one on the back of my neck that I just love. Why not do a cover up that just covers the old tattoo?

I’ve looked into it, and it would actually be way cheaper to get it covered than it would be to get it removed. My only problem is, I’m not sure if I will be writing another blog post in 10 years, calling my 33 year old self an idiot for getting that awful portrait of Morgan Freeman tattooed on her arm. That’s just an example by the way. I would never dream of getting a tattoo of Morgan Freeman on my arm… It would clash with the one I have of Gore Vidal on my lower back.

I could do what I did last time, and let alcohol make the decision for me, but that’s kind of how I got into this mess in the first place.