This Week in Word of the Day/07-07-2013

muster \MUHS-ter\, verb:

1. to gather, summon, rouse (often followed by up): He mustered all his courage.

2. to assemble (troops, a ship’s crew, etc.), as for battle, display, inspection, orders, or discharge.

3. to assemble for inspection, service, etc., as troops or forces.

4. to come together; collect; assemble; gather.

The first wave of “recruiting” for the Border Wars rounded up every able-bodied man between the ages of 15 to 45. With this last sweep, General Asada took everyone else – the boys, the old codgers, even the cripples. If they could pass for male, they were tossed into the back of transport trucks and whisked away to the front.

A lone officer stayed behind. A young, baby-faced Community Liaison with a groomed mustache and hungry, blue eyes. He was there to console the grieving mothers, daughters, and wives, but no one was fooled.

When the first bandit tested the town’s security by raiding a barn on the outskirts, the town matriarch, named Akila, mustered every household for a planning meeting. The officer stood just outside the church doors, smoking nervously. He would be of no use, he was a royal and was stationed within the town to keep him far from harm. He would be as useful in a firefight as a newborn.

As Akila stood before the crowd, a map pinned up to the announcement board behind her, she looked into the faces of the women, young and old, some with babies clutched to their chests. She didn’t see a fearful face amongst them. She saw only fury.

The men might be the ones with the tanks and grenades and the pretty medals to document their courage. But they were playing at the whims of kings.

Over the next two years, that small little town would be the sight of the real war where fate would make heroes of all of them. No history book would ever know their names, but the children would live and the crops would grow and the houses would stand until what was left of their husbands and sons were finally returned.

sprechgesang \SHPREKH-guh-zahng\, noun:

a vocal style intermediate between speech and singing but without exact pitch intonation.

Just as it was for the past forty-three days, the frail old woman in a frayed sundress and torn head scarf stood at the entrance of the city park and sang, or rather sprechgesang, Tobey Keith songs. Her graying hair blew wildly along the edges of her scarf, her watery blue eyes ticked to and fro along with her irregular vocal cadence, and her wrinkled hands wrung one another manically when not engaged in grand, exaggerated gestures to punctuate, sometimes even act out, the lyrics.

Some believed the woman was homeless, but I knew there was a family caring for her, somewhere. I once stayed throughout her performance, sitting on a bench and pretending to read. As she climaxed with a chaotic rendition of “Beer for My Horses” she wilted to her knees and wept loudly. As strangers approached to console her, she pushed herself up to her feet, straightened her dress, and walked toward the street. A parked Lexus with blackened windows revved to life and pulled up to the corner. The old woman slipped inside the backseat and the Lexus raced away with the fevered purpose of a getaway car.

I tried to arrive early the next morning to get a closer look at the driver, but the old woman was already at the park entrance, sipping on coffee, doing bizarre bird calls as a vocal exercise and politely shaking away an offered $5 bill from a passerby.

lyceum \lahy-SEE-uhm\, noun:

1. an institution for popular education providing discussions, lectures, concerts, etc.

2. a building for such activities.

3. (initial capital letter) the gymnasium where Aristotle taught, in ancient Athens.

4. a lycée.

Lacey had grand ambitions for her modern-day lyceum located in the treehouse in her backyard. She envisioned lengthy and ground-breaking discussions on the meaning of art, the usefulness of the god concept, the viability of a world without war, and how to finally level the power imbalance between the sexes.

Sadly, after two weeks she disbanded the group after it became abundantly clear that everyone was just coming for the muffins.

dandy \DAN-dee\, noun:

1. Informal. something or someone of exceptional or first-rate quality: Your reply was a dandy.

2. a man who is excessively concerned about his clothes and appearance; a fop.

adjective:

1. characteristic of a dandy; foppish.

2. Informal. fine; excellent; first-rate: a dandy vacation spot.

My father-in-law, or rather my ex-father-in-law, is a cowboy shooter. That’s a club where everyone dresses like cowboys and fires period weaponry at this elaborate shooting range built to look like an Old West town.

It’s exactly as silly and charming as it sounds.

For about a year and a half, I went shooting with him on Sundays when I wasn’t traveling and, though I was out of place, I enjoyed myself immensely. I just made a point to never discuss politics and we all got along famously.

I was a terrible shot, but its like poker, there is always room at the table for a reliable loser.

My father-in-law was trying to ease me into the group, buying me a holster first, then gifting me a shotgun. He asked what kind of cowboy I would be if I ever started dressing up. I told him one with a bowler cap and fancy duds, like a banker or an intellectual who wasn’t afraid of a good scrape.

“A dandy?” he asked with thinly veiled disgust.

He bought me a black cowboy hat for my birthday, which was fine. I did look pretty good in it.

I once shot a hole in the roof of the saloon with a rifle, but they were nice about it and just ribbed me for the rest of the day, which was a fair trade for causing at least a hundred dollars in damage.

They also joked about swapping wives a lot, but I assumed it was in that same manner that everyone in boot camp joked about being gay. A few people were closeted homosexuals, and those were the ones that never joked about it, but the rest were just trying to see how much they could unnerve the rest of the platoon.

In fact, I sometimes wonder if that was really behind the fierce resistance to allow gays in the military. A significant portion of military humor would be lost. Perhaps they have since upgraded to cross-dressing since I can’t imagine dresses and high heels ever being regulation.

At any rate, I never went to the fancy cowboy shooting gala at the end of the year, just to be safe.

blighter \BLAHY-ter\, noun British Slang.:

1. a chap; bloke.

noun:

1. a contemptible, worthless person, especially a man; scoundrel or rascal.

That miserable blighter stood over the poor slender girl like a volcano glaring down on a defenseless village. The way that man bullied her, it was a shame on all of us that we didn’t end it sooner.

So, yes, I was in the square when the brute got pricked in the heart and bled out like a stuffed pig. I was just a few feet away from him and heard the way his flesh slit open. He didn’t yelp, just sucked in sharp and quick, like someone surprised him from out of a dark corner.

But, no, I didn’t see who done it. Nor did any of the other forty-some-odd souls standing nearby I’m guessing, since you come around to ask me a third time.

We didn’t see any murderer, we only saw justice, and don’t you bother telling me any different.

integrant \IN-ti-gruhnt\, adjective:

1. making up or being a part of a whole; constituent.

noun:

1. an integrant part.

2. a solid, rigid sheet of building material composed of several layers of the same or of different materials.

“My Lord, you said you wanted the walls built from the bones of men,” – Chief Contractor of the Wasteland Empire of Earth 53 in the Betelgeuse quadrant.

“Yes! That is exactly what I said, so what the hell is this?” – Lord Bloodtooth, ruler of the Wasteland Empire.

“This is a wall constructed of human bones, my Lord,” – Chief Contractor.

“I don’t see a single bone!” – Lord Bloodtooth.

“Ah, that is the point! I discovered a way to use bone, sinew and muscle fiber to construct sheeting that is four times more durable than wood! True, bone is just an integrant of the material, but it is still there and no one has to actually see the bones. For all they know, this could be drywall!” – Chief Contractor.

“But I want them to see the bones! That is the entire point! I want them to quiver before our might, to mourn their dead every time they step to our gates, to remember that submission is the only option when treading into the Wastelands!” – Lord Bloodtooth.

“Yes, I had considered that, but then I spoke to your mother and she agreed that a wall of bones might be – a bit much,” – Chief Contractor.

“My mother is not the ruler of this empire!” – Lord Bloodtooth.

“Oh, then should I let her know the wall of bones is back on?” – Chief Contractor.

“No,” – Lord Bloodtooth.

“Because I don’t mind talking with her about it,” – Chief Contractor.

“No, don’t! It’s okay. This wall is fine. I just – I just wanted a wall of bones,” – Lord Bloodtooth.

“Well, I have some bones left, I could maybe make a mailbox made of bones. Put it out by the road where your mother can’t see it. Would you like that?” – Chief Contractor.

“Yes,” – Lord Bloodtooth.

yawp \yawp, yahp\, verb:

1. to utter a loud, harsh cry; to yelp, squawk, or bawl.

2. Slang. to talk noisily and foolishly or complainingly.

noun:

1. a harsh cry.

2. Slang. a. raucous or querulous speech. b. a noisy, foolish utterance.

As the family was ushered through the gate by heavily armed sentries, the dog paced nervously along the fenceline, yawping and whining. The white and tan mutt escorted the family through thirty miles of war-scorched France, chasing away bandits, sounding the alarm when roaming death squads were moving in, and keeping the small group moving steadily to a new home.

The dog turned its eyes from the two young children up to the massive and gleaming white rocket, fueling up as hundreds of survivors were being led inside. The Ark. Or at least an Ark. There were two hundred and thirty-four of them spread out across the world to shoot the last of humanity into the stars to find a new home. Room was limited, pets were not allowed. Only animals carefully selected as to be the most beneficial to the long pilgrimage ahead.

The mutt glanced back down to his family, the wife and children crying as they met his eyes. The father pulling them along bravely as they disappeared into the Ark.

The mutt didn’t understand why they were leaving him behind, but he knew that all of heaven and hell could not keep the mutt from finding a way back into their fold.

And he would be right. Against unfathomable odds, they would be reunited again.