Top 10 things not to say to an author

10. I read 50 Shades of Grey. Is your book anything like that?

9. So, when are you going to give up your day job?

8. Are they going to make a movie out of your book?

7. I don’t buy books. They’re too expensive.

6. How long does it take to write one of your little stories?

5. You should set your story in my town/workplace/back yard

4. How big is your advance?

3. Will you name a character after me/my mother/my boy friend?

2. How can I get published?

1. I could do that if I had the time.