Princely

This story was written for Trifecta’s weekly prompt, and follows on from Apple Most Foul, and Interrogation. Roll film!

The Queen Mother had gone missing, and Prince Evinrude of House Charming had vowed neither to eat, nor sleep, nor use the privy until he had found her.

At least, that was what the proclamations said. Actually Evinrude didn’t mind at all that the queen had gotten lost, and he wasn’t in overmuch of a hurry to find her again. She had ruled hard, on her subjects and her family, and she had squandered the crown’s financial resources considerably. Besides, practically speaking, if she didn’t turn up again, he was next in line.

Still, one had to keep up appearances. So that was why he was trudging through the wood, halfheartedly calling for his mother every now and again. Then suddenly a black-cloaked pig dropped out of a tree and barred his path. “Tell me what you know about the queen’s disappearance,” it said grimly.

“No thanks,” Evinrude said. “I know you; you’re the Third Little Pig. You’re an outlaw. What’re you going to do if I don’t? Kill me? Go ahead. The monks say heaven is quite pleasant.”

“No. Killing’s what that uncivilized wolf would do. Far too crude.” It pulled a metal device from inside the cloak. The object looked like a spoon, but it had peculiar sharp points where an ordinary curve should be.

“What are you going to do with that?” Evinrude asked in morbid curiosity.

“I won’t say. I’ll leave it to your imagination. What sort of nasty uncomfortable things could I do with this slightly rusted, sharply pointed thing?”

The prince, after a moment’s consideration, very quickly told all he knew. “She’s got a chamber below the dungeons. We think she’s done sorcery in there, but we don’t have a key, and the door won’t open. Magical, I expect.”

The pig nodded, and tossed the device his way. “Here. It’s your head-waiter’s new ice cream fork. Borrowed it.” Then he was gone.

“Well, I never,” said the astonished Evinrude. “A spoon and fork at once. Most innovative.”