The top 5 reasons I'll see The Lone Ranger

5. I don't care that Rotten Tomatoes currently has it at 21%; I'm always down for a bad movie before the beach.

4. Helena Bonham Carter is not only reprising her usual skanky role, she shoots a gun hidden in the heel of her boot!

3. Armie Hammer rides a horse through a train while having a gunfight.  Who could resist that?

2. Ruth Wilson was fantastic in Luther, so I'm very curious to see her, even in a small role, on the big screen.

and the number one reason I'm going to see this film...

1. Johnny Depp walks around with a dead bird on his head.