I'm Not With Stupid...

 
When I was younger I often defined myself by other people. I was
somebody’s daughter, sister, cousin, co-worker, etc. 
And when I was in a relationship, this self-identification was even
stronger because this was a person I chose to be connected to—unlike relatives who are really luck of the draw. Having a smart, funny, handsome boyfriend showed I must be equally great to have attracted such a stellar guy.
    Luckily I have matured somewhat in this regard so I don’t have to
now redefine myself as being unlovable by virtue of not having a lover. (although if anyone knows a suitable guy...? ;)  
    The other danger of aligning too closely with another person is what to do when they do/say something that you do not agree with? If a person is rude to a waiter, do you assume that their silent partner agrees with their bad behaviour? Or if your husband becomes drunk and obnoxious, does it reflect on you? Or if they have diametrically opposed beliefs, how often must you reassert that you think otherwise?
   This must be even more difficult for the silent spouses in politics. I
am fascinated by the wives of people I consider to be evil and/or incompetent. I mean, how could Laura Bush stand by G. W.? Was she fooled by the anthrax, wmds, and misinformation, as well? Didn’t she at some point think, “Hmm, if we are being threatened, maybe we should have someone knowledgeable at the helm”? Or possibly she isn’t intelligent and just appeared to be when compared to her husband.  
   Does Lauren Harper actually agree with Stephen Harper’s dictatorship and buy into his pro-business/anti-environment
policies. Maybe these women are happy to send their hubbies out to take over the world while they worry about wax build-up and play dates for the kids.
  Even Justin Trudeau whom I had liked, supports tar sands
development and other questionable policies. Did his wife think going into the marriage that his politics would be different, dare I say, Liberal? Or maybe she’s the more rightwing of the two pushing him evermore to join the conservative agendas.
   And what about the wives of Rove, Rumsfeld and Cheney? Do they see a warm side to these guys that makes them able to overlook the war hawk tendencies? You rarely see these women express their opinions. Do they agree with their win-at-all-costs spouses or are they just addicted to the fancy lifestyle and fame that goes with being married to the puppetmaster? 
   I’ll never know what these political “other halves” believe, but it
sure makes me glad I never fell in love with a politician. I wouldn’t want to be associated with any of their compromises—I’ll vote for your terrible bill if you’ll support mine—and I’d definitely be spending too much time saying, “Oh no, I’m not really with him...”