I love the Dutch, that's why I came to Denmark... (short excerpt from comedy play by Oren Shafir)

In this short excerpt from my play, Better Off Dead, Ulla and her friends,  Lars and Lone, are trying to teach Rex, your average Texan cowboy, how to be Danish.ACT I, SCENE III, ULLA’S LIVING ROOM
(Lars and Lone are just entering)

ULLA
These are my dearest friends, Lars and Lone Lonelarsen. Lars and Lone, this is my new boyfriend, Rex from Texas.
LARS AND LONE
Oh, an American.
REX
What’s a matter, don’t you like Americans?
LARS
Yes, of course. We are Danish.
 LONE
We are very tolerant and extremely non-judgemental.
LARS
But we believe that all Americans are narcissistic, dogmatic hypocrites.
 REX
Why I might take offense with that if I knew what any of those words meant.
 ULLA
Now we shall have Danish hygge.
LARS
Yes, now we shall have Danish hygge.
LONE
Yes, we shall have Danish hygge now.


ULLAWe shall explain.LARS, LONE AND ULLA(Lars, Lone and Ulla lightcandles frantically as theysing this song)
THE DANISH HYGGE SONG
DANISH HYGGE IS SO DANISHIT’S AS DANISH AS CAN BEDANISH HYGGE IS SO SPECIALBECAUSE IT IS SO HYGGELIGDANISH HYGGE IS SO SIMPLEAND YET IT IS COMPLEXALL YOU NEED ARE 500 CANDLESAND SOME PEOPLE AT LEAST THREETHEN YOU NEED SOME DANISH HUMORWE ARE VERY FUNNYWE GAVE THE WORLD BLACK HUMORWE INVENTED IRONYDANISH HYGGE IS SO DANISHIT IS AS DANISH AS CAN BEDANISH HYGGE IS SO CHARMINGBECAUSE IT IS SO HYGGELIGALL YOU NEED ARE 500 BEERSAND SOME PEOPLE, AT LEAST THREEREX
Oh, that’s Danish hygge. It’s kinda like...
Read more or download the full play as a pdf.

Listen to the first act read in a live staged radio reading