What I learned from watching Man of Steel
(Spoilers, naturally)
So last night I took a couple of hours to stare into a blender and watch ads for the American military. Oh wait, that's right, Superman was in there somewhere too. Here's what I learned:
A being who doesn't need to breathe atmosphere can be weakened by breathing the wrong atmosphere.The US Military admits 12 year old girls.Michael Bay sometimes makes movies under other people's names.When a kid with sensory issues freaks out and runs out of the classroom, the teacher will bring the whole class to go looking for them.People in remote countries live in tents watching American news on big TVs.If you're going into battle wearing bullet and rocket proof armor, it's a good idea to carry a knife.Evolution always wins, over... something.Holding a Kryptonian around the neck stops them from moving their eyes.If you're sending a scout ship out into the cosmos, it pays to plan ahead. Pack clothes for a guy who'll show up 20,000 years later.Unless you have compound eyes, there are movies that are better to watch in 2d than 3d.No matter how much technology improves, we will never outgrow the USB stick....and we'll STILL have problems sticking it in.The Independence Day move works on any alien spacecraft.If you find a giant terraforming robot on a lifeless, barren rock, it must totally work.If you make a movie where they spend an hour speculating how the world will react when aliens show up, once they actually DO show up you don't need to revist the issue and answer the question.Superman is kind of a dick.
So last night I took a couple of hours to stare into a blender and watch ads for the American military. Oh wait, that's right, Superman was in there somewhere too. Here's what I learned:
A being who doesn't need to breathe atmosphere can be weakened by breathing the wrong atmosphere.The US Military admits 12 year old girls.Michael Bay sometimes makes movies under other people's names.When a kid with sensory issues freaks out and runs out of the classroom, the teacher will bring the whole class to go looking for them.People in remote countries live in tents watching American news on big TVs.If you're going into battle wearing bullet and rocket proof armor, it's a good idea to carry a knife.Evolution always wins, over... something.Holding a Kryptonian around the neck stops them from moving their eyes.If you're sending a scout ship out into the cosmos, it pays to plan ahead. Pack clothes for a guy who'll show up 20,000 years later.Unless you have compound eyes, there are movies that are better to watch in 2d than 3d.No matter how much technology improves, we will never outgrow the USB stick....and we'll STILL have problems sticking it in.The Independence Day move works on any alien spacecraft.If you find a giant terraforming robot on a lifeless, barren rock, it must totally work.If you make a movie where they spend an hour speculating how the world will react when aliens show up, once they actually DO show up you don't need to revist the issue and answer the question.Superman is kind of a dick.
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