Niceness account running dry

Pretending is overrated.
Is it a good idea to be kind to others all the time, to be nice to others even when your eyes feel like they’re going to bleed? Does niceness ever run dry? And what’s the payoff? Is it so I can tell myself that I did something nice for someone who wanted to use me, but otherwise could give a shit whether I was dead, decapitated or non-existent? That’s not much of a payoff, but those users sure hope it’s enough to get what they want.
Rudeness is as easy as kindness, easier perhaps, as more people seem to choose that over understanding and compassion – and a lot of people seem to get ahead in life when they opt for attitude over compassion.
Liberals and conservatives are awesomely guilty of this knee-jerk frame of mind. Both, when they want something, turn on the well-rehearsed charm. So-called free-thinkers, spiritual glow-worms, rarely learn to use the warmth of spirituality to understand the opinions of those who don’t suffer from the addiction of constant self-improvement. Those who cling to their religions like a two-year-old to a stuffed, slobbery Teddy Bear, do the same damn thing.
So many Yoga-sweating, moon-worshipping, enlightened personalities are the first to exhibit their supreme elitism, and to loudly gasp in total astonishment when someone’s niceness budget runs dry. And maybe, because benevolence is expected from them, their indignation is the ugliest. Some on the far right of conservatism, who think their religion is the only true path, are as frustrating – for them ignorance of other beliefs is expected, and still ugly.
Every day, my drug dealer neighbors bum cigarettes from me. Every other day they come for something else: to borrow my cell phone, for coffee grounds, a crescent wrench that I never saw again. Every day they ask for smokes – it’s a given.
These guys are not my friends, nor have they ever pretended to be. And I usually accommodate their requests. Why? Because I have those things and they don’t.
What’s funny is they never slide on the mask of friendship, and later they bring three packs of smokes to pay me back, they bring pizza slices wrapped in aluminum foil, and a newspaper. And that’s more than some friends offer.
But friendship is a different story of course. There are the fake friends, the fair weather friends, and the friends who ask for nothing in return. Do users deserve friends who ask for nothing in return? Do they deserve a payout from the niceness account? Of course not. That account, when hit every day by those who lay with selfishness and narcissism, should be closed down and reopened for those who ask how you’re doing, who laugh with you, and let you know they’re thinking about you once in a while - for people who appreciate your ear more than what you can do for them.
The idea of getting niceness for giving niceness is, of course, bullshit. We are not that kind of species. And pretending doesn’t count. But giving niceness can still make a person feel better about themselves and that is where the true glow forms. Just don’t expect it in return. And don’t give it to those who love themselves more than others.