In Which I Am Neither on Twitter Nor on Facebook

Hi there. This is your friendly non-tweeting and non-Facebook-using author here. I was rather surprised to stumble upon a Twitter account in my name this weekend, and even more surprised to discover a Facebook page in my name. I expect there's an innocent explanation for both of these accounts, and I'm looking into it. In the meantime, I just wanted to make sure that everyone knows that those accounts are not me. In fact, my only online presence is on this blog, so if you see me appearing...