Melanie Codina on Stereotypes

The Stereotypes of Society

Have you ever felt like you were in a box? Were you placed there by someone else, or did you climb on in yourself? What did you do when you got in there? Were you satisfied with the box or did you stay there because you thought it was where you were “supposed” to be? If you climbed out of the box, were you tossed back in? And if you did get tossed back, did you get up and try to claw your way back out? Have you ever stopped to wonder why there are so many boxes, in which society tries there hardest to secure us in? Lumping us in a group or category instead of allowing us our individuality. Can I ask for a tiffany blue colored box next time, complete with satin ribbon? Do you want to know what happens when you finally make it out of that box … because I do. I'm sure that at one point or another in your life, you have been labeled and placed in a category. Whether you belonged in that category or not didn’t matter, the labeling was put there by society, and those around you assumed you belonged there. And we all know what happens when we assume something, don’t we. Stereotypes seem to be very prominent in our society. A way to judge others, and possibly even make you feel better about yourself. They aren’t something new to tolerate though, they have been around since the beginning of time. You can go back centuries to stories told and see references to stereotypes all over the place, but I fear that in recent times they have become more powerful. Social media alone can fuel a stereotyped label and make it go viral before a person even knows they have been labeled that way. It’s frightening. So what should a person do when they find themselves within a stereotyped category that they don’t feel they belong in? Would you like to know my opinion on the subject? I can usually be quiet when others like to voice their loud opinions, but on this subject matter; I never take the quiet path. Plainly speaking, I hate them. I loathe them. I detest them. To me, stereotypes are insults people throw at you because they don’t take the time to know anything about you.Did I mention how much I hate them? Okay, now that I’ve leaked the secret of how I feel about them, do you want to know what else I view them as? A challenge. To me, being placed in a category based on minimal information is a big fat challenge saying “I dare you to prove me wrong.” And believe me when I say, to me, there is nothing sweeter than proving a person wrong about you. Well, when it comes to the good stuff that is. If someone thinks you are total jerk, and then you act like one, well then shame on you. But if they are wrong, and don’t see the good stuff, get some comfy shoes on because you have some hurdles to jump over.People say that as a writer, you are supposed to write about what you know. The places you have been can be easily used in a storyline because you know them well. This of course can be interchangeable with life experiences. For me, the life experience of teenage motherhood is brought out in my work simply because it’s what I know, and the passion I feel over the stereotypes placed on me because of that experience can’t be contained. In my recent release, Love Realized, the heroine touches base on her irritation of stereotypes that are placed on people because of such an experience. Gillian comments to herself about the stereotype placed on her as a teenage mother, those placed on her children for being the product of a teenage mother, and even assumptions that relate to the fact that her and her husband got married only because they had a child. Gillian also comments on how different it was for her as a mother raising a child where she was the youngest mother around. These are of course all things that I am very familiar with.My own irritation with society’s stereotypes allowed me to create a strong character who was able to show the world, and those who labeled her, that they were wrong. People that have a child before they marry CAN actually be getting married because they love each other. A young woman who becomes a mother when still a child herself, IS capable of higher education goals and financial stability. Children born to teenage parents ARE capable of being good students and can grow into successful adults. And most importantly, a strong woman who had successfully overcome many challenges, is very capable of leaving a man who betrayed her, instead of staying because she was too afraid to leave.In my current work in progress, Love Resisted, you will also find a few stereotypes that come into play in the storyline. As a reader you will get to witness your heroine attempt to climb out of the boxes that she has actually placed herself in. Feeling it was what she was required to do, that is until she meets the hero who chose to stand on that box instead. I truly do believe that when society places you in a box because you fit a label, you have to ask yourself, do I belong in here? If you do, and have no problem with it, own it. Jump up and stand on top of that box proudly. If you believe you don’t belong in that box, dig your heels in hard and resist being tossed into it. Rip a hole in the side of that box and claw your way out. Prove those who label you wrong, over and over again. Why? Because nobody should ever settle, and if you don’t want to be what they say you are, there is no sweeter victory than climbing out of the box and waving at everyone from the other side. 


 Book Blurb:

For Jake, it’s always been Gillian. It’s been her since that day she unknowingly stole a piece of his heart...when he watched her fall for one of his best friends. Resolved to the fate that she couldn't be his, he locked up the deeper emotions he felt for her and loved her as a friend.

As friends, they went through it all together. Marriages, births, divorces and even death. But when a shameful secret Gillian has kept from her friends is revealed, Jake realizes she needs him more than ever. He knew what it was like to go through heartbreak and he wasn't about to stand back and watch her endure it alone.

He also knew she would turn to him for support. What he wasn't prepared for was the return of the emotions he had long ago locked away. Could he control those emotions again and did he even want to? Could he make her realize his love for her was real, or would she slip through his fingers again?



Excerpt:
There she was standing amongst her party guests, blushing and smiling like a fool when she had things to be doing. Attempting to focus on her role of hostess, she turned toward the house when a voice rumbled in her ear.“What’s that smile for, sexy?” Her smile got even bigger. Now the day was perfect; Jake was here. Always falling into the playful banter with one of her oldest and dearest friends was second nature for Gillian. Jake Michaels was always a flirt with her; it stretched all the way back to high school, and it was just part of their relationship. Of course, it was also easy to do since he was as sweet and sexy as they come.Tall, dark, and handsome was certainly a phrase that could easily be used to describe Jake, with his chocolate brown hair and light brown eyes that resembled topaz. And let’s not forget the broad shoulders and chest that sported the perfect proportions for his six-foot two-inch frame. Seriously, she had no idea how she ended up with all these good-looking men in her life? Hell, when they all were indulging in pool time, it looked like freaking spring break, with real adult males instead of those still trying to grow chest hair.Jake leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, which she offered up gladly because he was easily one of her favorite people. “Just relishing in the joy of all these handsome men in my life,” she said with a wink.“Well then it’s a good thing I got here, so you really have something to smile about.” Both of them laughed as Jake winked back. Gillian loved that she still had Jake in her life, even after all these years; they always had a good time together.“Hey, I found some party guests at the front door, and I brought them in for you since they said they rang the doorbell. Hope that’s okay; he says he works with you.”“Oh, thanks, I didn’t even think about people who aren’t used to just walking into my house like the rest of you guys do,” she said as she nudged him with her hip.“Well if I announced myself, then you may not let me come over, and then how will I get to have dinner with one of the hottest moms I know.”Gillian couldn’t contain her giggle. “Damn Jake, you sure know how to make a girl’s day. Now go check in with the birthday boy, he was looking for his “favorite uncle” earlier. Of course, that always gets under my brother’s skin when he hears Dylan say that.”Jake laughed out loud at that. “Which is exactly why I have trained Dylan to call me that, just to get under Sean’s skin … it’s so much fun. How about Ryan, has he been good?”“He is always good for his favorite aunt. Both boys have been in the pool for hours … the two of them should be sprouting gills any minute now.”Ryan was Jake’s son, from a brief marriage to a woman who couldn’t be bothered with settling down with just one man. They divorced when Ryan was only one, after Jake walked in on her with another man. She then followed this man to Florida and didn’t have any problems with granting Jake full custody of Ryan. Jake loved his son and didn’t want him to be subjected to a woman who couldn’t seem to focus on anyone but herself.“Hey, we have matching titles: you, the favorite aunt, and me, the favorite uncle. It’s a wonder the rest of these yahoos ever get paid any attention at all.” Jake smacked her on the ass and walked away to search for Dylan and Ryan while yelling toward the pool, “Has anyone seen the birthday boy? His favorite uncle is here!” Gillian just laughed as she turned around to look where her brother, Sean, was sitting with his wife, knowing that Jake only did that to rile him up. Boys will be boys, regardless of their age.

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Author Bio:

Melanie is an amazing mother of four, an awesome and tolerant wife to one, and nurse to many. If you don’t believe her, just ask anyone in her family, they know what to say. She is also a devoted chauffeur, the keeper of missing socks, a genius according to a six year old, the coolest soccer uniform coordinator according to a twelve year old, and the best damn ‘mac-n-cheese-with-cut-up-hot-dog maker in the whole world. Well that last title isn’t really official, but it’s still pretty cool to be called it.

When not being ordered around by any of the kids, you can find her with her nose in a book or on the sideline of a soccer game cheering on one team or another. But that’s mostly because she has a thing for the coach. When she is not doing all of the above, you can find her obsessed with a group of fictional characters all vying for a spot on the page of whatever she’s working on. It’s a fun and crazy life to lead, but wouldn’t have it any other way.


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