Making Word(s) Count #3: Immediacy and concurrency

Another form of convolution I see writers struggle with occurs when a writer is trying to suggest immediacy and concurrency of action. In other words, when things are coming fast and furious (or swiftly and furiously ).

This happens a lot in battle scenes, fight scenes, chases (and juggling) in which the writer is trying to convey that everything is happening suddenly or swiftly and/or all at once.

I often see writers over-use “as”, “while” when trying to suggest concurrency of action. That is...