FAQ Friday (Video): How do you handle controversy?

Today is the second entry in a video series I'll be doing to respond to some of your frequently asked questions. When I solicited questions from readers a few weeks ago, this one from Laura was one of the most popular: 

Something I'm constantly amazed by is your ability to take
things that are so emotional and sometimes (for me anyway) infuriating and you
are able to approach them from a place of peace, a place that is looking for
common ground. How did/do you get to that place? And how do you personally
distinguish between "someone is offended" and "I was
offensive"; how do you know when your words could have been more gentle or
helpful or when the other person just isn't ready to hear your message, regardless?

Here's my response. It's a little rough, my hair looks terrible (thanks, Southern humidity), and you can see my messy kitchen in the background, but "being real and vulnerable" is hip right now...right? 

See also: "Give 'Em Heaven" - A Tribute to Dallas Willard