How to Catch a Girl

Not with a net. Romantically speaking.

So I did a blog last week on how to catch a guy, which turned into some overall relationship and life advice. That advice still stands, although it’s always dangerous telling people how to live their lives. It’s time for some new advice, however, this time more geared towards the man folk. This week I give you “How to Catch a Girl,” with a very similar tone as last week’s video (some of this may be directly inspired by my sister’s recent run-ins with classy fellas).

Some things I’ve learned over the years (which can probably go both ways, again):

1) Girls like you or they don’t. This looks stupid as a sentence on paper but it needs to be said. Yes you can win people over in time, but if your ulterior motives drive this too strongly odds are you’ll just run them off. Let friendships form naturally and don’t force things.

2) Be honest with your intentions. Also summarized as being honest with yourself. If you’re into a girl and you want more than friendship, then go for more than friendship. I’ve screwed this up enough to know better, as have most guys (I can only hope). If you don’t treat her with romantic intent you’re going to get “Friend Zoned” because that’s all she assumes you’re after. Try to be as clear as you can be without being creepy, because that’s bad news too (and the “Creep Zone” is way harder to get out of).

3) She’s human. Don’t put her on a pedestal. You’re not perfect and you know it, so extend the same grace to her. Worshiping her will only lead down bad roads, and will eventually destroy the relationship. Either she’ll get weirded out and forced away by the insurmountable pressure you put her under, or you’ll realize you aren’t worthy of such a goddess and you’ll sabotage the relationship. Treat her like a person, with needs and flaws and feelings and everything that entails.

4) Girls want you too. You don’t have to trick her into liking you, this isn’t some sort of clandestine exchange. We’ve stumbled into this misogynistic worldview where women are the gatekeepers to relationships and sexuality, which really isn’t fair on any level. This goes back to treating her like a human, but you both want and need things in life and “Companionship” is probably a common item on that list. If you aren’t made for each other, fine, walk away, just don’t treat her like a lock you have to pick.

5) You can be complete without someone else. Yes having someone else can be fantastic, but being single can be amazing too. Society defines us as men by how many women we can woo and how externally beautiful those we woo are (which goes back to this idea that men and women are on opposing sides of some relational battlefield). You don’t have to be summed up by who you can “Get with,” which I think is a pretty shallow form of self-definition to begin with. There’s a lot of life to live out there on your own, and once you pick someone you’re just exchanging one set of problems for another (not to destroy your dreams).

Men: Women are people. Treat them as such, with dignity and respect. You might not get laid all of the time, but you might discover that there’s more to life than conquering the opposite sex. Keep your end goals in mind, be honest, and proceed with kindness and selfless action. These are truly manly qualities.

What have you learned along these lines that deserves mentioning? Ladies, is there anything we should know? Am I wrong?

Here’s some Eiffel Tower romance for your time.