Making A Bold Statement

 A week of enormous trauma and upheaval at Hedges Towers. The Writing Garret has been painted, for the first time since we moved in, some 24 years ago. Because BH belongs to the 'White with a hint of reluctance' school of decorating, I decided to give up waiting for inspiration to strike, so Gill the Lady Painter arrived, with a shed load of filler, paint pots, brushes, and merry banter.

It has been definitely nice having a woman working in the house, and I mean that in the most sexist way possible. Loo seats stayed lowered, and I could slob around in casual clothes and minimal makeup and not feel awkward. Plus we have had some great chats about the posh houses she has decorated. And Life. And our children.


Clearing out the Writing Garret was an experience and a half though. I am sure there is some mathematical explanation for why books on bookcases expand when out of bookcases to fill amounts of floor space much bigger than the shelves they previously occupied. Same applies to pieces of furniture. And the cats have been totally traumatized. Stuff has 'walked' into or out of rooms they inhabited, their nap areas have been invaded and they can't get under the sofa anymore.

For a couple of days, they were so upset they took to stalking the corridor all night, like small vengeful furry versions of King Hamlet, voicing their discontent and keeping us awake, so that I have been arriving at my exam invigilating job looking like the Wreck of the Hesperides, which probably explains why I failed to appear one morning altogether, and handed out the wrong papers at another session. I am currently treading the'slightly incompetent but very endearing' path in the hope that my Exams Officer doesn't sack me.


One night, the cats actually brought in a (dead) mouse and laid it at the bottom of the stairs. We decided it was a kind of propitiation to 'the Gods that made such a pother' over their heads. However, all bad things come to an end (except for the Tory party) and by Friday, walls were painted, cats were mollified and BH and I no longer felt we were camping out in our own house. This is the result: I have vanilla walls instead of pale cold blue and a ''bold statement wall'' in geranium! The lovely painting is by Peter Davey, Twitter friend, writer and artist - check him out @PedroYeved. I bought it to go in the newly painted room. Everything else is as it was - just a whole lot brighter.

The PINK SOFA is not at all sure about the statement wall and feels there may be colour clash issues, but I have told it that I don't consult with furniture over my colour choices, especially when the aforesaid furniture is a figment of my imagination to begin with. Now all that remains is to sit at my desk in my newly painted room, apply my fingers to the keyboard and produce the next bestseller ....... ah, if only it were that easy.