New policy in effect
The older I get, the more I see maturity (and sometimes the disappointing lack thereof) in old friends. I’m fortunate to have reconnected with many, many friends from school days, and in some cases those friendships have blossomed in ways I never would have imagined when I was young. Truly, I am blessed!
However, because time has forced me to accept unfortunate, mysterious ends to friendships I once held dear; and because I can only leave doors open to those beloved people for so long, I have been kicking around a new friendship policy which I would like to formally declare today to the constituents of LesleaVille:
If, after a decade or more of constant friendship in which the parties known as “You” (you being a friend of previously reasonable sanity and relatively good humor) and “Me” (me being Leslea, the one and only) become as close as family and as dear as soulmates, you inexplicably drop out of my life and then refuse repeated attempts to establish 1.) what is wrong and 2.) if you are okay and 3.) if we are still friends, then the Corporation known as Leslea shall forthwith conclude that 1.) we are no longer friends because 2.) you obviously fell in love with me and 3.) it is in the best interest of your family/poker night/reputation if you just withdraw from any possible proximity to my amazing body, infectious laughter, and biting wit.
There is no policy against your continued following of this blog, or the support of any of the Corporation’s attempts at publishing readable fiction, non-fiction, or self-mocking blogs that barely mask the Corporation’s pain at your betrayal and abandonment. However, if at any time You find yourself being skewered for my amusement or the amusement of my readers, then please do consider that reasonable attempts were made by the Corporation to get together for coffee, beers, shit-shooting sessions, and other previously mutually-enjoyed activities of similar nature.
In the unlikely event that you should ever grow up and get over yourself and your problem, please inform the Corporation in writing. In the interim, “You” may be referred to as “End Yousers” or just “Yousers,” both of which have quite a ring, don’t you think? The Corporation fears that due to the rising cost of living/feeling/being in this sometimes bewildering social climate, the Corporation will not be extending grace periods for as long as Yousers may have been accustomed to in the past.
So sorry. It’s not you, it’s me, right?
No. It’s definitely you.
:)
Have a nice day! Thanks for visiting LesleaVille! Y’all come back, ya hear?
