Settle an argument, eh?

A lovely Twitter friend, Ger, mentioned in passing that she quite fancies Noel Edmonds. Well. As you can imagine, I was horrified. I've been aware of Mr Edmonds for most of my life (since Swap Shop when I was just a teensy sproglet) and yet I've never – never! – heard anyone admit to fancying him. I've never even heard him mentioned as a guilty/embarrassing crush.

So after I rightly mocked the crazy Noel-fancier, she asked me about my own embarrassing crushes. I said David Mitchell, even...