Show Don't Tell
In Praise of Shorter Stories
Ernest Hemingway famously said,
If a writer of prose knows enough of what he is writing about he may omit things that he knows and the reader, if the writer is writing truly enough, will have a feeling of those things as strongly as though the writer had stated them. The dignity of movement of an ice-berg is due to only one-eighth of it being above water.
It has been pointed out by others, that 'showing' takes more words than 'telling'. I disagree. Poetry manages to convey so much in so few words. By employing certain powerful words that trigger emotions and memories in the reader / listener, the writer can open up a myriad of thought and feelings that do not need to be written down. I try to use this principle in my own writing. It is not easy. Firstly you tend to slip back into telling without realising it. It's less effort. With dedication and a certain amount of luck (feeling right at the time), I might spot this during my editing process and improve it.
Generally I write short stories. I probably do this because I have a particular love of reading short stories. Chekov, Raymond Carver and Richard Ford are my particular favourites although I have many more. Many novellists write excellent short stories, or have done in the past. Steinbeck, Hemingway Orwell, John Updike, Norman Mailer are just a few others Margaret Atwood I particularly like. Steinbeck and Orwell in particular, seem to me to write in the condensed style common to short story writers. They appear to utilise the 'show don't tell' principle very well.
Often when I write a short story, I edit it into several versions of differing length. Initially I did this in order to enter them into writing competitions that require stories limited to a maximum number of words. It took me a little time to discover, that readers always seem to get more from the shortest version. Often these are what have come to be named 'Flash Stories.' In this form, the story seems to capture people's imagination. Some readers, I find, have interpreted the story differently to others. This is bound to happen with the 'show, don't tell' technique, where people are using their own background experiences to fill in the gaps. Some writers might balk at this. They want their readers to understand exactly what is in their (the writer's) mind. This is not a problem to me. I am happy for my stories to be a trigger that opens up a number of slightly different stories in people's minds.
I accept that the experience of readers preferring my shortest stories, could be peculiar to me, but I do not think it likely. I would advise all fiction (even non-fiction) writers, therefore, to give it a try. Take one of your stories and condense it. Set yourself a word number as a target. Once you have achieved this, try producing a shorter version, perhaps a third shorter. Continue until you have something of about 140 words, then show it to someone who knows the full length story well and see what the result is.
Here is an example of a flash story that began life as a short story of around 4,000 words. It is so far unpublished and is intended as one of a book of flash stories at some later date:
The Bottle Lady of Luang Prabang. By Mark Swain.Days passed slowly. Most began with breakfast at our street café. The chink of glass somewhere in the early morning traffic haze. Through the dust, a haggard woman is sorting bottles on a patch of waste ground. A kitchen cupboard lies dumped there. I propose she lives in it. Comic, until she climbs inside. We stare, waiting, but she stays put. A policeman arrives. Moving her on? No. Handing her a coffee and cigarette. He departs, tipping his hat. We leave; pass her camp and notice smoke from the plughole. A plume, rising in the still air. We wander home. Perhaps we ordered the ‘happy breakfast’ by mistake?
Ernest Hemingway famously said,
If a writer of prose knows enough of what he is writing about he may omit things that he knows and the reader, if the writer is writing truly enough, will have a feeling of those things as strongly as though the writer had stated them. The dignity of movement of an ice-berg is due to only one-eighth of it being above water.
It has been pointed out by others, that 'showing' takes more words than 'telling'. I disagree. Poetry manages to convey so much in so few words. By employing certain powerful words that trigger emotions and memories in the reader / listener, the writer can open up a myriad of thought and feelings that do not need to be written down. I try to use this principle in my own writing. It is not easy. Firstly you tend to slip back into telling without realising it. It's less effort. With dedication and a certain amount of luck (feeling right at the time), I might spot this during my editing process and improve it.
Generally I write short stories. I probably do this because I have a particular love of reading short stories. Chekov, Raymond Carver and Richard Ford are my particular favourites although I have many more. Many novellists write excellent short stories, or have done in the past. Steinbeck, Hemingway Orwell, John Updike, Norman Mailer are just a few others Margaret Atwood I particularly like. Steinbeck and Orwell in particular, seem to me to write in the condensed style common to short story writers. They appear to utilise the 'show don't tell' principle very well.
Often when I write a short story, I edit it into several versions of differing length. Initially I did this in order to enter them into writing competitions that require stories limited to a maximum number of words. It took me a little time to discover, that readers always seem to get more from the shortest version. Often these are what have come to be named 'Flash Stories.' In this form, the story seems to capture people's imagination. Some readers, I find, have interpreted the story differently to others. This is bound to happen with the 'show, don't tell' technique, where people are using their own background experiences to fill in the gaps. Some writers might balk at this. They want their readers to understand exactly what is in their (the writer's) mind. This is not a problem to me. I am happy for my stories to be a trigger that opens up a number of slightly different stories in people's minds.
I accept that the experience of readers preferring my shortest stories, could be peculiar to me, but I do not think it likely. I would advise all fiction (even non-fiction) writers, therefore, to give it a try. Take one of your stories and condense it. Set yourself a word number as a target. Once you have achieved this, try producing a shorter version, perhaps a third shorter. Continue until you have something of about 140 words, then show it to someone who knows the full length story well and see what the result is.
Here is an example of a flash story that began life as a short story of around 4,000 words. It is so far unpublished and is intended as one of a book of flash stories at some later date:
The Bottle Lady of Luang Prabang. By Mark Swain.Days passed slowly. Most began with breakfast at our street café. The chink of glass somewhere in the early morning traffic haze. Through the dust, a haggard woman is sorting bottles on a patch of waste ground. A kitchen cupboard lies dumped there. I propose she lives in it. Comic, until she climbs inside. We stare, waiting, but she stays put. A policeman arrives. Moving her on? No. Handing her a coffee and cigarette. He departs, tipping his hat. We leave; pass her camp and notice smoke from the plughole. A plume, rising in the still air. We wander home. Perhaps we ordered the ‘happy breakfast’ by mistake?
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