How do you get a guy to like you?
I think this post will actually apply pretty directly to both men and women if you swap out for your preferred gender, but something I get asked by girl friends regularly enough is “How can you get a guy to like you?” To which I usually respond, “Well I don’t want guys to like me. At least not like that, thank you very much.”
I get punched a lot by my “friends.”
Anyways, there seems to be a pretty constant stream of “Give me the formula for life” going on around us at all times, so I thought I’d address this one in a helpful video for my Monday vlog. Of course, these tips really can go both ways if you’re a guy and you’re wondering how to go about tricking a gi-I mean courting the girl of your dreams.
In all seriousness, if you’re wondering how to get someone to “like you,” take a moment to think about what it is you like about other people. What is it that draws you to them? I’m gonna go out on a limb here and list a few things I think we all find attractive, and how I think you should actually go about applying that information to your own life.
How Do You Get Someone to Like You?
1. They’re Easy to Be Around – No one wants to sit through awkward moments or forced conversations. Not everyone is easy to get along with, but there are certain people you simply do get on with better than others. This leads me to two thoughts. One is that you shouldn’t put pressure on yourself if someone doesn’t like hanging around you for some reason. There are people made to mesh with everyone, and those easy relationships are the kind you should gravitate towards rather than trying to force others to happen. And two, you should relax. If you can just relax and be yourself, people are more likely to do the same around you. How do you relax?
2. Confidence – This is both the sexiest thing you can wear and the most difficult thing for most of us to come across in ourselves. Confidence comes from knowing who you are, and not only accepting that but loving it. The greatest form of confidence springs from humility. In other words: confidence comes from simply not thinking about yourself. If you want to attract others, stop thinking about yourself so much. Whether you think about yourself negatively or positively, just stop. Put that thought towards the benefit of others and they’ll love you for it. Which brings us to
3. Generosity – Everyone loves generous people. Whether they’re generous with their finances, their time, or their joy, people that share are people we want to be around. It can be really hard to share, so make a concerted effort to do so. Especially in the areas you find most difficult. Soon you’ll get addicted to it, and it won’t be so hard any more. It will be a pleasure.
4. Honesty – If you can be yourself without hiding too much, you’ll find people gravitate towards you more. Some will be repelled, certainly, but those are people you don’t want around anyways (and often many come back around later, as honest people can be so hard to find). If someone falls in love with a lie, they won’t love you much when that lie disappears. Lies can be a short term solution to awkward situations or conversations, but as is well documented in nearly every romantic comedy in history: lies are nothing but time bombs in relationships. This is true of friends as much as it is romantic interests. Be yourself now so you can cut through the crap and see who sticks around. It’s better than wasting your time building a facade that will only blow down later anyways.
5. Appearance and Availability – Finally, an easier topic for some of you: Take care of your appearance. At least look decently groomed and hygienic. The way people perceive you is important, even if you feel like it shouldn’t be. We shouldn’t judge books by covers, but boy do we ever. Take a little time to make sure you look presentable, and be available for people to approach you. If you really want to make friends/find a date, being open and willing not only to talk but to say “Yes, I’d love to go out with you on Friday.” is about the only way you’re going to accomplish this. Ladies, if a guy works up the courage to ask you out and there are no signs of serial killer going on, give him a shot. Guys, grow a pair and start asking ladies out. A lot of them are just waiting to be asked, so stop freaking yourself out with fears of rejection and just get on with it already!
And to reiterate, as hard as this is to believe, guys and girls are both into this whole “Finding a partner” thing. We aren’t enemies trying to trick each other into capitulating to our desires, we’re allies trying to make the right matches that will be successful and happy. At least that’s how it should be. Treat people with dignity and respect, like human beings – not like locks you need to pick to get what you want.
Of course these locks represent something slightly different (locking your love in Paris, in case you were wondering)
