Guess the Title 12

Below are seven descriptions of actual books available at Barnes and Noble dot com. Your job is to guess which of the given titles is each book's actual title.

2 - 3 right: excellent
4 - 5 right: genius
6 - 7 right: liar


A. Had it up to here with sugary-sweet affirmation books that ignore the pleasures of resentment and mean-spiritedness? Tired of the self-helpaholics who've been sipping too much chicken soup? Then this book is for you. Here are 365 splendidly bitter daily meditations that will appeal to the cynic in you.
365 Days of BileSuck it Up, LoserChicken Livers for the SoulWho Cut My Coke With Salmonella?Today I Will Nourish My Inner MartyrThe Habits of Highly Sarcastic People 365 Ways to Tell the Assholes to F*ck Off
B. Wouldn't it be nice to read a book about relationships that made you laugh instead of point fingers? Now you can. The author takes on over-simplified psycho-babble relationship books and delivers a knockout punch.
It’s All Your FaultNo, Really, it's YouThis Book Is StupidBabble that Lands BabesThey are the problem; There's Nothing Wrong with You. Women May Be from Venus, But Men Are Really from Uranus Sleeping Around in Dark Matter: A Scientist Ridicules Our Mating Games
C. Is Bigger Really Better? Here at last is the first self-help book for men with Oversized Male Genitalia (OMG). Every year, thousands of men are diagnosed with OMG. Sadly, most are banished to the fringes of society
Cock-SureMembers OnlyGargantuan is BetterHow to Live with a Huge PenisYou Will Always Feel Better Than My DildoToo Much Junk: How to Deal With Tight SpacesIf I Wanted to Screw a Salami I'd Have Gone to the Deli
D. Everyone has that moment—the realization that adulthood has arrived, like a runaway train, and there's no getting out of its way. An attempt to express the contradictions and anxieties that come with being over-educated, minimally employed, mostly single, and on your own.
Generation WhineF*ck! I'm in My Twenties.Who Changed The Locks?Homelessness for DummiesLife sucks. Don’t kid yourself.Whaddaya MEAN I'm Pregnant?How to Tell Your Parents You're Moving Back In
E. Have you got the right kind of point on your pencil? Do you know how to achieve the perfect point for the kind of work you need out of that pencil? Deep in New York’s Hudson River Valley, the world’s number one #2 pencil sharpener still practices the age-old art of manual pencil sharpening.
Sharper ImageWhat’s the point?NOW You Tell Me Pencil Sharpening Isn't an Olympic EventSharpest Pencil in the Box: Memoir of the World's Greatest Pencil SharpenerHipsters Will Buy Anything, So Why Not a Book About Maintaining an Object That's Almost as Obsolete as a Typewriter?How to Sharpen Pencils: A Practical and Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, and Civil Servants   F. Target. Observe. Ridicule. You run into them every day—the striped-shirt guy, the karaoke master, the dude with a pencil-thin beard, the guy who won’t shut up about his fantasy football team—characters who annoy, irritate, and incense us all. A look inside the heads of the most infuriating douchebags on planet Earth.  All Men are IdiotsLook at My Striped Shirt!At Least You Aren't THAT Guy!Hang On, I Need to Take this CallNo Thanks, I Only Drink ImportedPick Up Artists: A Woman's Guide to Avoiding JerksRelax: Monday Coffee Shop Flotsam Bro Downs Are Normal G. This bracing blast of negativity takes aim at the impossibly cheerful inspirational self-help books flooding the market and hits the bullseye, with chapters such as Your Good-for-Nothing Friends, Your Miserable Job, and Life: What's the Use.   Evil Editor StripsYou Are WorthlessDude, You're F@ckedTake This Book and Shove ItClaim that Dirty Sofa in the AlleyYou Don’t Need to Buy this BookConvincing Yourself that Self-help is a Crock


Answers Below     Fake titles were supplied by Khazar Khum, CavalierdeNuit, Veronica Rundell, Anonymous and EE.     Actual Titles  Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr Women May Be from Venus, But Men Are Really from Uranus  How to Live with a Huge Penis  F*ck! I'm in My Twenties  How to Sharpen Pencils yadda yadda  Look at My Striped Shirt!  You Are Worthless