You can be yourself, but only if you wear a tie

Last night I was helping a kid put on his tie prior to a concert.

"But I don't want to wear a tie," he moaned as I slipped it over his head. 

"I know," I said, tightening it around his neck.  "I don't ever wear a tie, but I'm an adult.  I can make that choice."

And it's true.  With the exception of those times when I find myself as a member of my sister-in-law's bridal party or one is required (black tie affairs, etc.), I no longer wear ties.  I refuse to wear them.  I find the garment...