The longest Tumbl ever...

Hello. I am watching Parks and Recreation in the background. I’ve just eaten an apple, rosemary ham and emmental cheese in slices and I am absolutely, totally knackered. There, just setting the scene (and asking for more than the usual slack on typos). 

In the last two weeks I went to the West Dunbartonshire Booked Festival. I did a solo talk (they’re the scariest events by far…just you and a piece of paper that made sense when you practiced it at home). It was the nicest event I’ve done in ages. Members of the knitting group made cake and Allan and Richard, the organisers, looked after me so well. In the morning I walked along the edge of Loch Lomond it was pretty bloody lovely.

I was home a day before a flew off to the Festival du Premier in Chambery. Along with a host of French debuts, seven international writers are selected by a reading committee. My fellow Brit was the absolutely lovely Elizabeth Haynes. In between events (including a translation session where everyone in the room was stumped by ‘Angel Delight’) I ate a lot cheese, visited a wonderful Hammam I at first suspected was a brothel (it wasn’t, they had mint tea, no brothel has mint tea) and wandered the rainy but gorgeous streets of Chambery. One of the audience gave me a bunch Lily of the Valley from their garden. Again, pretty bloody lovely.

THEN… a day after that I went up to Tynemouth where I stayed in a beautiful guesthouse, stuffed myself with fish and chips and then stuffed myself into a wetsuit to be rough-tumbled by the North Sea during a surfing lesson that left my dignity in shreds, roses in my cheeks and me with every intention of trying to conquer a surfboard again….all in the name of journalism…so far the piece is mainly me explaining why I needed lots of cake and chips for sustenance. This is why…look at the beast of a day I took on…

THEN, THEN I came home and packed up all of my things put half of them in storage, filmed a wee film for Random House, then moved to a new little shared flat in Shoreditch. 

THEN…then it was the Author’s Club Best First Novel ceremony. All of Team Tony Hogan turned out (my editor, agent, publicist, and two of my closest friends) to…see me be the bridesmaid again. That’s five times, five, I’ve donned the shortlistee peach taffeta. On Monday night the brides were Ros Barber and I J Kay both very deserving indeed. Like all good bridesmaids I enjoyed the party, drank, ate, was merry and genuinely grateful just to be at a celebratory occasion. I would like to get to wear the big white frock at some point though…

Hello? has anyone made it this far? Thank you if you have. My next event is TONIGHT. It is FREE and is part of the Holloway Arts Festival.

Then on Saturday I’m taking part in the debut event at Stokey Litfest. I have pretty much campaigned for this spot, I am a novelist squatter on the panel, and the organisers have been lovely and let me squeeze in so please do come. It’s free and in a really good bar in Stokey.

Phew…see? Aren’t you just knackered reading that? I’m off for a wee nap.