The Question That Changed Everything for Me

What would you do with your life if you didn’t have to worry about money?

This is the question that changed everything for me.

We were sitting on a billboard (yes, a billboard) looking out over the Willamette River in my hometown, which used to be Portland, OR, and my friend just asked it, like it was normal — just as normal as sitting on a billboard:

What would you do with your life if you didn’t have to worry about money?

I wish I could say his question was immediately inspiring to me, that it instantly challenged me to see things from a new perspective, but that would be a lie. In fact, at first, I was ticked. I was in graduate school at the time, working a part time job to pay the bills, taking out loan after loan to make up the difference. And concern about money was a persistent part of my daily reality.

How much does that cost?

How much will it be?

I can’t afford it.

As for my friend who asked the question, he lived in a nice apartment, drove a nice car (it had seat warmers) and never once seemed to grimace at menu prices while eating at a restaurant. So his question made me angry because I couldn’t imagine the kind of life he seemed to be living, a life where I didn’t have to worry all the time.

I did have to worry about money. Most people did.

What was the point of dreaming about anything different?

Willamette River – Portland, OR

It wasn’t until a year later I actually allowed myself to answer his question. It was a sort of quiet, shameful answer to myself: I would quit my job, move out of my apartment and drive across the country. Then I would write a book about it.

Six months later, I spoke those words out loud.

Six months after that, I actually did it.

The whole story is too long to share here, but the part I want to emphasize is this: I learned so much about money the day I decided to quit worrying about it.

First, I learned that, if you worry about money when you don’t have it, you’ll worry about money when you have it. This was really surprising to me, because I figured the only thing that could make me quit worrying about money was to get more of it, but it turns out that wasn’t the case.

There were moments after graduate school, for example, where I had plenty of money to live comfortably, and moments on the road trip where I didn’t have much more than a few bills. But no matter my circumstances, my inner life was really similar — calculating, obsessing, worrying.

It took me way too long to figure out the power to stop worrying about money didn’t have to do with my circumstances.

The power to stop worrying about money was inside of me.

Also, I learned money is a really bad motivator. I know that sounds backwards because money is a really powerful, driving force. But personally, money motivates me to do stupid things I wouldn’t otherwise do, or just things that aren’t good for me.

While we were traveling, for example, I took a writing job from Craigslist. I had done this before, but this time my motive wasn’t to gain experience, or because I found the subject matter interesting. It was purely because the money was good.

What could it hurt? I figured.

Turns out it could hurt a lot. The whole thing turned out to be really shady, and I’m lucky it didn’t turn out worse than it did.

Money is a powerful motivator, but not always a good one.

I’m not suggesting everyone should just quit their jobs, sell all their stuff, and go on a 50 state road trip. I’m also not suggesting we should be irresponsible with our money. I know there are real financial issues we need to face, with wisdom, on a daily basis. What I’m suggesting is we change the way we think about money, and submit ourselves to an economy not driven by dollars but by love, integrity, community and compassion.

For me, there is so much freedom in that.

What would you do if you didn’t have to worry about money?

The Question That Changed Everything for Me is a post from: Storyline Blog