My Top Twelve Ways To Tell If You're Gettin' Old

(c) 2013 by Tom King



Lately I've been taking a hard look at my own mortality.  I'm trying to decide whether I'm
getting old or just deteriorating a little prematurely.  I'm 59 and I don't feel old, except when I try to
get out of my recliner, forget to turn on the heating pad or try to
break into a trot while attempting to catch a bus.  So, anyway, I've developed my own personal top dozen ways to
tell if you might be getting old.  To wit.....


If you have to tie your...