knowing your purpose :: the answers may surprise you
Editor's Note: during the month of June, members of my Story Sessions community will be posting about what it means to pursue dreams, engage in self-care and practice active boundaries. They had free reign on what they wrote, and the topics come from my 30 Days of Prompts. I'm so excited about the wisdom these ladies will share with you, and I know you'll be inspired.
xoxo,
Elora Nicole
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“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid.”
― Frederick Buechner
You find yourself living a life of pioneer mission in a community house in the middle of a poverty stricken housing project when you were expecting to be at medical school.
You begin to ask yourself some questions.
One of those questions might* be, ‘wow, I didn’t realise I would crap out of my chemistry exams quite so badly.’
Another question might be, ‘what is God doing that He would lead me to this place, at this time, with these people, when it was no-where near on my radar of calling or purpose.’
And then you might find yourself leaning into a new learning of who you are, a leaving behind of the old ways, a growing up of sorts, a releasing.
You might find a depth of love and a fierceness of fire that you never knew existed within you.Then, fourteen years later, when you’ve adventured to this point in time, spanning continents, hurtling from safety to danger, learning to trust in the Wild Jesus you follow, you might come to an understanding that it wasn’t about ‘Medicine’ at all - it was about Shalom. Justice and Wholeness and Restoration and Reconciliation.
And it all makes sense.
You just stuck a label that didn’t quite fit onto your purpose.You’re called, in the words of Shane Claiborne, to be a ‘Professional Lover’.
* by ‘might’, read, ‘definitely’.
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Our western worldviews tend to lead us to view the past as being behind us, and the future ahead.
The Hebraic idea is vastly different.
The Hebrew word for the future, for tomorrow, is מחר – ‘mahhar’. The Hebrew word for the past, for yesterday, is תמול – ‘Temol’.
‘Mahhar’ comes from a root that means ‘behind’, and ‘Temol’ comes from a root that means ‘in front.’
The past is in front of us, the future behind.
What we see is where we’ve come from, the things that have shaped us, the road of purpose we’ve been led down. The future is at our backs, entered only as we live more, see more of our past, understand more of our journey.
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“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” ― Frederick Buechner
I have noticed a tendency in some to somewhat mythologise purpose. To go to extremes and either speak of ‘purpose’ in hushed tones as though she were a flighty bird that might be scared away should we speak too loudly of her existence, needing to be wooed into our proximity so that we could read her wings and search her being – or to shout loudly from the rooftops of this enigma that we are seeking our with every fibre of our being, desperate to lay claim to that which is eluding us, conquering, sword in hand, slaying dragons as we go.
I WILL find my purpose.
In the book of judges we find Gideon threshing grain in a wine press. Hiding.
A wine press is the last place you'd want to thresh wheat. Its a sunken pit. The chaff would never blow away, the good would stay mixed in with the crap. But Gideon is hiding, trying to keep his grain from the ravaging Midianites.
I don't know what's going through Gideon's mind whilst he's threshing the grain. I don't know what he thinks God is going to do to get the Israelites out of their fix, I don't know if he thought he would have a part to play in whatever that might be.
But God knows, and God communicates.
The Angel of the Lord appears to Gideon exactly where he is and speaks words that must have sounded crazy to Gideon. Mighty warrior.Gideon is given a purpose.
Does that purpose wait until Gideon has acquired the requisite skill set?
Does that purpose begin when Gideon has processed all the trauma that he and his people have been through?
Does that purpose begin once Gideon has got a prayer circle around him to discern what God might be saying?
No.
The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you.' (Judges 6:14)
Go in the strength you have.
Prayer circles aren't bad. Getting skilled up isn't bad. Processing your journey isn't bad.
Thinking that God only gives you purpose when you have all of that sorted?
Not so great.
Go in the strength you have.
There is purpose right where you are. Right now.
Yes, Gideon had an angel of the lord. We have Holy Spirit.
What is it that you're waiting for?
You know your heart and your passions. You have Holy Spirit.
Gideon was told to go in the strength he had and God would put the rest in place.
What are you waiting for?
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Maybe purpose is to be found in the quiet beating of our hearts, the thing that stirs our souls when no-one else notices it.
Maybe purpose is to be found in the reflecting on the journey, of the moments so well lived that you could hear God breathe sighs of joy.
Maybe purpose is to be found in the fire in our bones, when passions for Justice rise up and inaction is no longer an option.
Maybe purpose is to be found, as Beuchner suggests, where our deep joy and the worlds deep needs intersect.
Maybe it’s that simple.
When we know our God and we know our journey and we know ourselves, we will know our purpose.There may be moments when that purpose blazes like the sun, burning out the shadows and daring darkness to squash the beauty that is illuminated by the fierceness of our love. Where systems are disarmed and wrongs are righted and regimes that hold back the Kingdom are brought to their knees and bathed in light.
There may be moments when that purposes sits, rocking in an old chair, wrapped in a blanket, providing safety and warmth and hope. Where truths are murmured over tired souls, the lonely and lost find a home, the hungry are fed with gentle love, and all is put right in the world.
But there is purpose nonetheless.
Borne of a journey, lived in radical obedience to the Lover of all, forged in the fires of hope and courage and daring.
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You find yourself living a life of pioneer mission in a community house in the middle of a poverty stricken housing project when you were expecting to be at medical school.
You begin to ask yourself some questions.
And the answers may surprise you.
//
Claire Bent is a dreamer, schemer and adventurer. Her favourite words are, 'but, WHY?' which is both helpful and revelatory, and irritating. She would rather go barefoot, hopes there's Assam tea in heaven, feels like East Africa is a second home and thinks that The West Wing should be on curriculums.
She also runs a community development organisation and is a pastor in a South London church.
