Are You Listening to Me?

Everybody wants to be heard, but few really listen. In fact, I've found that people sometimes don't want to hear what I have to say (please, act surprised). As I write this, I may even be inflicting my opinion on you against your will. I'm being facetious, of course, but I have noticed that in certain situations, people have a hard time listening.



When I'm ordering at a fast-food restaurant, I don't need for the cashier to interrupt me to ask if I want to "make it a meal." If they would listen until I'm finished talking, they would know exactly what I want. And, if packaging it as a meal will save me money, then they should do it. They don't need my permission for that. This week my wife and I ate in a neighborhood restaurant on "date night." The waitress seemed nice enough but, evidently, made an assumption about what we wanted and then couldn't hear what we asked for because she'd already decided in her mind what it would be. In these situations, when I'm the customer, I would appreciate their full attention.

But, in a kind of reversal of the previous examples, I am sometimes the "employee" speaking to the "customer." As a police officer I must occasionally interview complainants, witnesses and suspects after an incident's been reported. There are certain things I must learn in order to determine the next step. But, as I attempt to get this information, a person's emotions will sometimes interfere with their ability to listen. Sometimes it's even malicious in that they will attempt to manipulate my decision by playing on my emotions. Either way, it's difficult to sift through their rants.

I think, in most of these situations, the people do not intentionally set out to be rude. Instead, they suffer from poor training and lack of respect. I think parents, teachers and, later, employers should spend more time training their children, students and employees to listen.